Marjorie Taylor Greene Files Bill Legalizing Insurrections

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) filed articles of impeachment against President Joe Biden on the very first day on the job. Now, Ms. Greene has filed another bill sure to raise eyebrows and start heated conversations on the Hill.

“Despite what Crazy Nancy and Cryin’ Chuck want Americans to believe, we are free in this country. People like me and my FOREVER PRESIDENT DONALD JOHN TOADSTOOL DICK TRUMP believe that freedom should be so free that you’re allowed to do literally anything you want to do,” Taylor Greene screeched on the House floor this morning. “Even, yes even, if that means violently overthrowing our government and committing an insurrection while Congress certifies an election! This bill would make it legal to do insurrections, and I believe it’s high time we pass it!”

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Greene’s bill is not expected to make it a full House vote. However, it’s still been quite a busy last couple of weeks for the freshman qongresswoman. As we reported last week, Rep. Greene has petitioned congressional leadership to give her a medical exemption for crack cocaine.

“I need to have my daily crack intake. This is a medical necessity,” Greene announced to reporters as she checked her car for loose change. “Crack is my fuel. It’s what makes me the lovable little ball of joy I am! Without my crack, I’m afraid of who I am and who I will be.”

Greene says she’s asserting her First Amendment rights.

“Every American is entitled to hit the glass dick and speak their mind,” Greene said. “And with Cracky by my side — that’s what I call my crack pipe, by the way — I know I’m smarter than I am without him. I need my crack to sound remotely intelligent. Imagine how idiotic I’d sound without it!” (PGC)


So far, Speaker Pelosi has not responded to Greene’s medical crack exemption, and hasn’t offered any comment on her insurrection legalization bill.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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