CHINGADAS, TEXAS — A tense situation in Texas has resolved itself, and the occupants of a pro-Trump bus are now safely back on the road toward their ultimate destination.
According to several witnesses on the scene, a busload of Trump supporters was pulled off on a stretch of Texan highway when ten cars full of Biden supporters pulled up behind the Trump bus. More than two dozen Biden supporters, armed with water bottles and sandwiches in case anyone on the bus was hungry or thirsty, boarded the Trump bus. The Biden supporters asked why the Trump bus was just sitting on the side of the road.
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“This afternoon, the Chingadas Police Department received a report that several carloads of pro-Biden supporters had overtaken a pro-Trump bus,” Police Captain Burt Thompson told reporters. “When our deputies arrived on the scene, they opened fire, killing six Biden supporters and two Trump supporters, but Texas state regulations require our state troopers to fire at least ten rounds during any interaction with citizens, so they’d have been in a lot more trouble if they hadn’t killed those people.”
However, after the situation had been brought down to calmer levels, the officers on the scene were able to ascertain a better understanding of the facts. As the coroner bagged up the bodies of the people the police shot upon arrival, Capt. Thompson updated the media on the latest developments.
“As it turns out, the pro-Trump bus was extremely lost, and the occupants of the bus were quite happy that the Biden supporters were willing to help them get back going the right direction,” Capt. Thompson reporters. “The Trump supporters were quite fortunate that many of the Biden voters have toddlers at home, so they knew how to get to Sesame Street, and that’s exactly where the Trump bus was headed.”
Capt. Thompson said that the Biden supporters helped the Trump supporters locate Sesame Street no the GPS, and all sides agreed it was a rare moment of bipartisanship in a country so bitterly divided politically.
“The Trump supporters were really very visibly grateful to the Biden supporters, and the Biden supporters seemed genuinely happy to help the Trump supporters,” Capt Thompson. “So the Trump supporters will get go to Sesame Street and protest its socialist free education for poor people, and the Biden people can sleep well knowing they’ve helped their fellow Americans in need. A real win-win if ever there was one.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.