Why Is Stephen Miller’s Mother’s Vagina Replacing Tucker Carlson at Fox News?

“We just figured one racist cunt could replace another and our audience would be none the wiser for it.” – Anonymous Fox News Source

The world of conservative media was rocked this morning when Fox News announced that it had parted ways with Grand Wizard Tucker Carlson. Mr. Carlson was one of the most prominent hosts on Fox News, but was also at the center of Dominion Voting Systems’ defamation suit against Fox, stemming from the deluge of lies and misinformation about the 2020 election that Carlson and other hosts amplified for weeks after Joe Biden was declared and certified the winner.

Though the details of Carlson’s departure are not fully known at this time, there is one key detail that has reportedly already been settled: Carlson’s replacement. According to a source we spoke to today, Fox executives have decided to replace Tucker Carlson with former White House speechwriter Stephen Miller’s mother’s vagina.
The reasoning, our source told us, was quite simple.

 “We just figured one racist cunt could replace another and our audience would be none the wiser for it,” our source told us. “At this point, we’re not even sure it’s possible because we all assumed what everyone else does, that Stephen was spawned from a sewage treatment plant in Hell on the floor where Richard Nixon and Nancy Reagan share a condo. So if we do find the human woman who birthed Miller into existence, the job is hers. Until then, we’ll probably just hire Kid Rock to read KKK pamphlets in Tucker’s old time slot.”

RELATED: Tucker Carlson Vows He’ll Never Stop Sexually Fantasizing About Cartoon M&M’s


Well I did not see that coming, but it totally tracks. #TuckerCarlson #FoxNews #stephenmiller #satire #politics #politik #political

♬ original sound – James Schlarmann – James Schlarmann

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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