Rosie Defends Tweets To Corker, Collins As “Alternative Lobbying”

Rosie O’Donnell ignited a firestorm of criticism and controversy among the American right-wing of politics when, as Senate Republicans were preparing to rush their massive tax overhaul back to the House of Representatives before a final vote to send it all to President Trump’s desk, she tweeted an offer to Senators Bob Corker (TN) and Susan Collins (ME), both Republicans.

In the hours since O’Donnel’s tweet, politicians and pundits on the right have assailed her. They have implied that she broke federal laws when she sent her tweet. Senator Ted Cruz retweeted someone who made similar statements, and seemed to echo the sentiment with his commentary on the matter. Ms. O’Donnell is no stranger to feuds with Republicans or Donald Trump. She and the president tangled in public numerous times before he was a politician. Trump would often belittle, berate, and insult O’Donnell’s looks and talent.

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There have also been people defending Rosie, saying the tweet was satire and it pointed out that every politician that takes campaign donations is beholden to them in the same way it would seem Corker and Collins would be beholden to O’Donnell. But, this morning, Ms. O’Donnell offered an explanation for her tweet that she hadn’t in the past.

“I would just say it was alternative lobbying,” O’Donnell told an ABC affiliate this morning. “It wasn’t bribery. I wasn’t bribing them. I even said no strings attached. But the larger point is I was just alternatively lobbying.”

Rosie offered another explanation for her tweet a little later in the interview.

“And if they don’t accept that explanation, they can just call it Locker Room Bribery,” O’Donnell said, “and then maybe they’ll get the point. But I wouldn’t hold my breath.”

The Department of Justice issued a statement from Attorney General Jeff Sessions on the matter.

“At first I was all about to say I didn’t see any crimes committed because Ms. O’Donnell’s white,” Sessions wrote. “But upon review, and being informed of her status as a liberal Democrat, I must insist that the FBI open a full inquiry. Her skin color notwithstanding, Rosie must be investigated for her obvious joke.”

You can read more satire like this every day on The Political Garbage Chute and Alternative Facts.

More satire:

Senate Republicans Inserted Tax Cut Amendment That Dumps Six Million Dollars On Bob Corker’s Lawn Every Quarter

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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