Trump Wanted To Veto GOP Tax Plan After Finding Out Obama Would Benefit From It Too

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Independent and non-partisan estimates of the GOP tax plan and overhaul — that could reach President Trump’s desk for signature by the end of the week — show that it will add roughly $1.5 trillion to the deficit. Other analyses show that while lower and middle income tax brackets will see a modest savings, within a decade those gains will expire, while none of the cuts for the wealthiest Americans will ever sunset. This has led the bill to generally be viewed by people who aren’t conservatives as largely one that benefits the rich.

President Trump has championed this tax bill since he was on the campaign trail, and it signals his single biggest legislative victory. There are also estimates that show he and his family stand to benefit greatly from the new tax code because of the disproportionate weight put on commercial real estate development, which is a large source of the Trump family’s wealth. Whether or not he will publicly admit it, many speculate Trump’s support for the tax overhaul was largely informed by this familial benefit.

Sources within the White House, however, are reporting now that Trump seriously considered vetoing the tax cut package.


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“When the president was informed that his predecessor is wealthy enough to benefit greatly from the tax overhaul,” Sarah Huckabee Sanders told the media, “he decided that it might not be worth it after all if an URBAN Democrat gets to keep more of his money. We all know rich people are wonderful, God-like creatures, unless they’re Democrats. Then they’re clearly and obviously spawns of Satan himself. All we’re saying is that we wanted rich people to benefit from this, but only the certain KINDS of rich people, know what I mean?”

Mr. Obama, since leaving office, has inked multi-million dollar book deals and speaking engagements. While he was well-off before, he has undoubtedly climbed into even more rarefied economic air. Ordinarily, Sanders told reporters, this would make Obama the kind of man that “Republicans would line up and bend over backwards to suck off.” However, he is a Democrat, and that changes everything.

“The rich in this country deserve their pampering, they deserve their coddling, and they deserve their safe space. Being born into wealth is hard work,” Huckabee Sanders said. “But if you’re a rich Democrat? Clearly your money is ill-gotten gains, probably funneled to you by George Soros or the ghost of Saul Alinsky. Common sense here, media. Use it.”

Reportedly, Mr. Trump also considered rushing Congressional Republicans to meet and make amendments to the tax bill that would create a “separate but not equal” class of wealthy people, and Obama would be in it.

“Also rich people like Oprah, Michael Jordan, P-Diddy, Jay-Z,” Huckabee Sanders said. “You know, those, um, TYPES, of rich people.”

Former President Obama could not be reached for comment.

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James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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