Local Fuckface Still Crying and Lying About Losing

FARTS-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH — Residents of America’s Dong State are probably used to hosting all sorts of con men, liars, racists, and general fuckfaces. It’s hard to throw a rock in this country and not hit a story about a Florida Man or Florida Woman doing something that only fuckfaces would do. After all, in a state that calls Matt Gaetz one of its congressional representatives, it’s obvious that Floridians, at least enough of the ones that vote, appreciate a good fuckface.

So it would likely shock no one that the state’s most fuckfaced resident lives in a luxury resort in the state. It probably would shock even fewer people to find out that this fuckface is such a fuckface that he’s still crying and lying about losing an election that was held almost an entire year ago. Despite this lack of surprise or shock, however, it’s still likely noteworthy — if not newsworthy — that even after losing an insurrection and dozens of court cases, after his lawyers have been facing stiff legal penalties for doing his dirty work, that this fuckface in particular is still releasing fake presidential memos claiming the 2020 election was “stolen” from him.

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Just this week, the former one term, twice forever impeached sack of KFC farts and racist jokes from the 19th century wrote a letter to the Georgia Secretary of State, claiming that rampant voter fraud has been reported in the state. Notably, however, he provided as much evidence for this claim as he has for his claim to have a normal sized and shaped penis.


Fuckface McGee also recently put a statement in support of his followers who committed an act of domestic terrorism on January 6th of this year. In the statement, the fuckface once more refers to a “rigged” election. Scholars have noted that it appears when this unctuous twatwaffle says “rigged” he means “an election where votes are cast and counted.”

Legal experts note that because America is a tolerant country that encourages free speech, the fuckface in question is likely not going to face any problems with the courts for continually lying about what a pathetic loser-ass-bitch he is. However, the First Amendment doesn’t cover any charges related to crimes committed by him or his company.

“He’ll probably be screaming about rigged elections until the day he breathes his last McNugget-sauced breath,” lawyer Michael McMichaelson told us. “That’s whether he dies in prison or surrounded by his lover and other four kids.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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