Republicans Race to Defend One of Their Own After Bathroom Confrontation

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Congressional Republicans have begun to close ranks and circle the wagons in defense of one of their strongest allies — Democratic Senator Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona.

On Twitter, insurrectionist, pro-MAGA Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) blasted conservative CNN commentator Ana Navarro for pointing out that Sinema was confronted in the restroom of the Arizona university she teaches at primarily because she refuses to meet or speak with constituents. Sinema has stood with her should-be-fellow Republicans in defiance of President Joe Biden’s aggressively progressive budget agenda, which seeks to spend trillions of dollars, paid for by raising taxes on those making more than $400,000 and large corporations, and has come out against changing the filibuster rules in order to make sure the budget resolution, or a new voting rights act can be passed.

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Progressives in her own state, many of which helped her launch her successful bid to replace Republican Martha McSally, have begun to fundraise to find a primary opponent when her seat is up for re-election in 2016.  Sen. Cruz tweeted yesterday, lambasting Navarro and calling her comments “ridiculous.”

Speaking to Fox News’ resident white nationalist host Tucker Carlson, Cruz doubled-down on his defense of Sinema.

“Maybe we are the fuck your feelings crowd, so to speak,” Cruz insisted, “but this is different, and it’s always different when conservatives are the ones getting their feelings hurt. Clearly Kyrsten is a conservative, and therefore I will stand up for her right to stand in the way of helping regular Americans.”

Freshman Congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) blasted the activists who followed Sinema into the bathroom and recorded their confrontation with the Arizona alleged Democrat. On Steve Bannon’s podcast/digital klan rally, Greene screeched about protesters treating Sinema like a “transgender person” using the bathroom.

“How dare they harass her in a bathroom? She’s not even a transgender person trying to poop in peace,” Greene howled. “Steve, this is why we must impeach Biden, and shred the treaty of Appomattox.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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