Don Jr. Explains Why ‘Walls Work’ and Why 6 Six Trillion Illegal Mexicans Come Over Ours Every Second

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — The president’s third smartest son and least intelligent progeny overall told a right-wing radio host in the Bible belt this morning he doesn’t understand why congressional  Democrats are fighting his dad’s border wall so hard, keeping the federal government shut down in the process. During the same interview, Donald Trump Jr. also explained that his dad’s wall is “completely bigly necessary” because “walls work”  but there are “6 trillion illegal Mexicans and other browns” entering the country every second by coming over the southern border wall.

“I don’t get why the libtards are not getting this very simple concept,” Junior told Skip Scabbard of WKKK FM this morning. “Walls are both the most effective deterrent of illegal immigration, but also our existing wall is allowing upwards of four, five, six trillion illegal Mexicans and other browns, Skip. I mean, duh, libtards. Duh.”

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Trump Jr. explained his father’s views further.

“Look, if you live in a world based on libtarded concepts like facts, reality, and statistics, no, there aren’t thousands and thousands of illegal criminal Mexicans trying to get into our country every single second,” Trump Jr. admitted. “And yes, the actual statistics — if you give an F about them like a libtarded libtard, Skip — show that most people who come illegally simply enter legally and then overstay their visa, but please, allow me to ooga booga a little more? OOGA BOOGA MEXICANS!”

President Trump’s may have also gotten ahead of his father’s administration this morning, because he dropped hints that the White House is working on yet another strategy to get their wall built.

“Diddums can always have his Space Force build a space wall around our country,” Junior said, “Hell, maybe even around the United States too, if we have enough left over. Russia’s a big country, fam.”

Before finishing the interview, the younger Trump tried one more time to explain the logic behind his father’s administration’s push for the wall.

“You know how if you see a problem in your mind, you wanna fix it? Like, even if there is no actual evidence that the problem exists,” Trump Jr. asked. “Because that’s where my Diddums is at with this whole shebang. It’s like when you see a house that could be on fire one day and you set it on fire to show the whole world you were right about how dangerous fires are in general. That’s what Diddums is doing. Starting a fire. With peoples’ lives and money and property.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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