WASHINGTON, D.C. — Unsurprisingly, Congressional Republicans have been giving interviews and making social media posts supporting President Donald Trump nominating a replacement for the late Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Justice Ginsburg died last week after serving more than 25 years on the high court, and the fight to replace her, given that it’s an election year and Republicans’ previously stated reluctance to seat new justices when the American people are about to vote on the next president, has already started. That fight is helped in no small part by the fact the Senate Republicans who claimed that 2016’s election meant they couldn’t confirm Barack Obama’s final nomination have by and large all said they have no problem confirming Trump’s.
One person who has been particularly vociferous about the GOP’s rush to replace Ginsburg is none other Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Trump’s Balls). Cruz, who Trump announced just a day or two before Ginsburg’s passing is on his shortlist of Supreme Court candidates, has made the case in several interviews and on his social media feeds that the Republicans in the Senate have a duty to confirm Trump’s pick. Cruz was one of the most defiant of Obama’s same right to choose Supreme Court justices.
Today, speaking at a prayer breakfast in the nation’s capital, Cruz blasted Democrats for “trying to make Republicans play the same rules” as they do. Cruz also explained to the congregants at the church in which the prayer breakfast was being held why he thinks it’s so important to ensure the court has a 6-3 conservative majority.
“In short, friends, the Senate must fill Ginsburg’s seat and secure a permanent majority for the overwhelming minority,” Cruz insisted. “Because nowhere does the Constitution promise that the will of the most number of people will be heard. How is it fair that 51 people get to decide what 49 other people do? Isn’t it much more fair to force MORE people to do what FEWER people want to do? Don’t answer that. Logic is a liberal conspiracy.”
Senator Cruz said that the Supreme Court, much like the Electoral College, should “reflect the dying and antiquated values of less than half than less than half” of the U.S. population.
“Doesn’t it make more sense for 25-30% of America to dictate to 70-75% of America how they need to live their life by the rules of our theocracy,” Cruz asked a packed, maskless church congregation. “Isn’t it the very height of liberty and freedom to tell eight out of every ten Americans live in a society that in no way reflects their modern value system?”
Though he himself is also being considered for the seat on the bench, Cruz touted the fact that Judge Amy Coney Barrett, another one of Trump’s publicized judicial candidates, has given what he called a “ringing endorsement” by the Taliban yesterday. As we reported in this publication, the Taliban endorsed Barrett because they believe they share a “deep, abiding commitment to throwing the yoke of God around as many heathens’ necks as possible.”
All we, the Taliban, have ever wanted is to be allowed to create our very own Kingdom of God. In that kingdom, we can write whatever laws we want, and force everyone under our authority to live under the same rules. No matter how allegedly “oppressive” or “tyrannical” those heathens and apostates claim our rules are, we are the ones who have established the Kingdom of God, and therefore we get to set the rules and they have to follow them. Tough noogies. (PGC)
“Now, the liberals will accuse me of hypocrisy just because I’m going against what I said should happen four years ago,” Cruz said. “But who cares? Hypocrisy is just a means to an end. And in this case, the end is creating a high court that reflects the values of 25-30% of the country and actively seeks to trample and destroy the values of everyone else.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.