Conservative Podcaster: “I Saw Roy Moore Hit On A 14 Year Old At A Football Game But At Least He Stood For The Anthem!”

"You gotta ask yourself what's more disgusting -- pedophiles, or unpatriotic pedophiles?"

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — Right-wing conservative blogger, podcaster, and Trump supporter Jethro Bohiggins doesn’t think the allegations of sexual assault and misconduct against Alabama Senate candidate Judge Roy Moore are “good or helpful,” but he does think it’s time for Moore to “get credit for being a patriotic pedophile.” Bohiggins told a personal anecdote about a time he had a chance to see Moore in his natural habitat as a means to justify his defense of the Alabama Republican attempting to win Attorney General Jeff Sessions’ vacated seat.

“I once saw Roy Moore hit on a 14 year old at a football game, but at least he was standing for the anthem,” Bohiggins said before explaining the detail of the story.

Jethro has a familial connection to Alabama, and he had the opportunity because of that connection to visit the state, attending a high school football game.

“Let me tell you this,” Bohiggins told listeners of his podcast Monday morning, “Tennessee ain’t far from Alabama, and I gots family down there, fam. You know how big football is in red states. Well, I was invited by my cousin and ex-wife to come see my son and second cousin play his first high school football game, and who else should be in attendance at that game than Judge Roy Moore himself.”

Bohiggins says that since Moore is somewhat of a local celebrity in Alabama, everyone at the game knew he was there. Jethro told his podcast audience he saw Moore “chatting up” one of his friend’s teenage daughters, who was 14 at the time. The two kept talking right up to the point that the school’s band started playing the National Anthem.

“And you know what? I saw, with my own two eyes, Judge Moore took his hand off that young girl’s knee and put it over his heart as he stood up for the anthem,” Bohiggins said, “So say what you will about Judge Roy More, but he’s a damn patriot.”

In the end, Bohiggins says the equation that Republicans and conservatives must ask themselves to solve is a simple one.

“You gotta ask yourself what’s more disgusting — pedophiles, or unpatriotic pedophiles,” Bohiggins told his audience.

Polls conducted since The Washington Post’s story was published have tightened, with some showing a dead-heat between Moore and his Democratic challenger when the margin of error is considered.


More satire:

Taliban Cleric Doesn’t See Anything Wrong With Roy Moore’s Behavior

Comments

comments

More from James Schlarmann

5 Things The Lame Duck Congress Will Address Before Finishing Their Term (VIDEO)

If we know this Congress, they'll definitely put the "lame" in "lame...
Read More