Justice Barrett Will Let Her Husband Decide Her Vote on Mississippi Abortion Law

WASHINGTON, D.C. — It’s unclear whether it was her intention to do so, but Supreme Court Justice Amy Covid Barrett just gave the American public an unprecedented preview of how she intends to decide the case of Mississippi’s abortion law. Or rather, how she intends to let her husband decide for her.

In  Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health OrganizationMississippi’s 15-week ban on abortions in the state is being challenged before the Supreme Court, and this morning opening arguments were heard by Barrett and her eight fellow justices. Legal experts see it as an avenue by which anti-abortion Americans, who by polling data account for roughly 40% of the population, Roe vs. Wade can ultimately be either greatly restricted or overturned entirely.

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Historically, justices have refrained from making public remarks that might lead to debate or guessing as to how they will decide in a pending case. This afternoon, however, shortly after concluding the hearing on Mississippi’s law, Barrett was asked by a reporter for her thoughts on what she had heard today, and instead of declining to comment, Barrett gave some thoughts.

“What does it matter what I heard, personally? What matters most is what God, and my husband heard. They’re the ones who will make my decision for me, as is the case in my entire life,” Barrett said with a dull, flat monotone.

A visibly surprised group of reporters asked Justice Barrett why she felt it was appropriate for her to surrender her voice in the court’s decision to her husband. Barrett asked if she could text her husband for permission to answer the question. Then, once she received his blessing, she texted her husband again to get exact directions for what she could say.

“Okay, my husband told me to tell you that I’m okay with ending abortion rights in America, because I personally don’t want or need to have a vote in my own vagina-based decisions,” Barrett answered.

“If I don’t want a say in my vagina-based decisions, why would any other woman? Blessed by the fruit.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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