“It could only be this hat, and not the fact that Mitch McConnell didn’t wait until Ginsburg’s corpse was stiff before rushing me onto the bench, that’s for sure!” – Justice Amy Covid Barrett
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Speaking to a packed, maskless auditorium full of Republicans, Supreme Court Justice Amy Covid Barrett lamented the fact that, as far as she sees it, many Americans have come to see the high court as politically motivated. Barrett, the third and final justice former, one term, twice forever impeached President Donald J. Trump bristled at the notion that the court has become political, claiming that she and the other eight justices aren’t a “bunch of political hacks.”
The current makeup of the court has six Republican-appointed justices to three who were added to the bench by Democratic presidents. However, if then Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (Q-KY) had simply played by the rules laid out by the Constitution, Republicans would only hold a one seat advantage, and current Attorney General Merrick Garland would be sitting on the Supreme Court’s bench. Barrett at one point referenced the fact that she was wearing a red “MAGA” hat, and worries that some will see it as evidence that the court is indeed political.
“I love this hat, and all the white Christofascism it implies. But I worry that if people see me wearing this MAGA hat in public, like I am now, that they may think I’m just a political appointee, a hack, and that’s just sad,” Barrett told the audience of Republican donors. “Still, I can understand how this one hat, and literally nothing else about how the court has functioned since Obama’s second term, would lead people to think we have become too political.”
Barrett said she was “quite positive” that her MAGA hat itself would end up getting her accused of being a political operative.
“It could only be this hat,” Barrett insisted, “and not the fact that Mitch McConnell didn’t wait until Ginsburg’s corpse was stiff before rushing me onto the bench, that’s for sure!”
A Republican lobbyist, later seen stuffing envelopes of cash into Barrett and McConnell’s pockets, called the justice’s speech a “watershed moment” and praised her “courage and grit.”
“It takes real guts to stand there in a hurricane and pretend like you don’t know how you get wet,” the unnamed lobbyist told reporters later. “Amy is a courageous, brave woman, and I hope she keeps her MAGA hat on, even when she’s wearing her robes. And I hope Americans realize the Supreme Court is not a political shit show, no matter how much it looks and feels like it totally is.”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.