Analysis: 90% of Videos on Rumble Are Dan Bongino Hate-Spanking to AOC Clips

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA — Recently, right-wing agitator Dan Bongino was temporarily suspended from posting videos to his YouTube account, which was also simultaneously demonetized. Bongino, according to YouTube, had violated their company policy on COVID related disinformation.

Bongino wrote and shared a scathing reply in which he promised to keep posting content YouTube might deem off-limits. Mr. Bongino also assured the public he would post whatever he wanted to on Rumble, a YouTube competitor that he has a financial interest in. For those who are unfamiliar with the kinds of videos that are permitted on Rumble, but not on YouTube, a tech data analysis firm in California released a report last week that might be of some interest.

Gaetz’ Girlfriend Skipped Driver’s Ed Class to Testify Before Grand Jury

“From what we have seen in the data, we can say with strong confidence that nine out of every ten videos posted to Rumble are, basically, just Dan Bongino angrily masturbating to clips of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez,” CyberAnal’s Becky Beckenstein told us in a Skype call today. “It doesn’t really matter what the clip’s title says the content is about; if it’s on Rumble, the overwhelming odds are that it’s just a video of Danny boy punching his semi-flaccid dolphin while he watches an interview that AOC did.”

Of the roughly 10% of videos on Rumble that aren’t Bongino publicizing his hate-rection for social programs and the people who champion them, most of it, Beckenstein said, “looks a lot like the stuff you see on YouTube.”

“You know, cat videos, recipes, and video game playthroughs,” Beckenstein explained. “Like, Nazis playing with their cats, neo-confederates sharing their recipes for C4, and MAGAs complaining about all the non-white characters in Madden football.”

Senator Coalfarts McFuckface Doesn’t Want Infrastructure Plan to Pay for Clean Air or Water

Become a Patron!

Follow James on Instagram.
Subscribe to James’ Patreon for ad-free satire.


 

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This