Twitter Says Babylon Bee Can Have Its Account Back When It Switches from Hate Speech to Satire

Alleged comedic website The Babylon Bee had access to its Twitter account temporarily suspended this weekend for breaking the social media site’s Terms of Service.

When it published a headline calling Assistant Health Secretary Rachel Levine, a transgender woman, their “Man of the Year,” on Twitter,  The Bablyon Bee broke the rule barring hateful conduct. While some have noted that this is just the latest in approximately 6.3 trillion transphobic jokes that the outlet has run on Twitter, and that the punishment for breaking the rule is temporary, the Bee’s staff and management have remained defiant. Despite being told by Twitter their 12-hour suspension would start as soon as they deleted the offending tweet, Seth Dillon, CEO and Grand Wizard of The Babylon Bee, indicated the tweet would not be deleted.

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Though it’s unclear at this time if The Babylon Bee will fold as quickly as right-wing conspiracy theorist Dan Bongino did when he claimed he was leaving Twitter for good, only to come back within weeks, it appears that Twitter is not done trying to coax the Internet’s premier destination for Boomer-tier hate speech into following their Terms of Service.

“We sent an email to The Babylon Bee’s corporate headquarters, which we found out is the site of an early 20th century lynching, and we told them that if they switch from hate speech to anything modern secular society would recognize as remotely resembling satire, they could have their account back,” Twitter Spokesperson Susan McTavish told us. “We have not heard back from them yet, but people tell us as soon as they can come up with a third joke, they’ll consider trying their hand at satire.”

When we contacted The Babylon Bee for a quote, we were told half the staff was too busy laughing at all the N-words in Blazing Saddles for all the wrong reasons, and the other half was too busy erecting the crosses they’ll be expected to nail themselves to in order to show the world how persecuted they are.

MORE: Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump


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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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