Biden Gave January 6th Committee Thousands of Nude Images of Ivanka Left Behind By Trump

This week, President Joe Biden denied his predecessor’s request to extend executive privilege over documents related to the failed insurrection of January 6th, 2021.

While not surprising, Biden’s decision to hand over communications to and from former, one term, twice permanently impeached President Donny Trump signaled that the troubles could just be starting for the man who once hosted an NBC reality-TV game show. With his eyes already set on a 2024 rematch, Trump’s legal problems only seem to be mounting, and President Biden doesn’t seem to be worried about any effect on the power of presidency if he turns over documents to the January 6th committee.

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If it was bad that Trump’s records from that fateful, embarrassing day were going to be combed over by the committee investigating January 6th, Biden dropped another bomb on the former president this morning. Speaking to reporters inside the Oval Office, Biden announced that he had authorized his staff to hand over thousands of nude images of former First Lady Ivanka Trump to the January 6th committee.

Ms. Trump’s testimony is being sought by the committee, and it’s unclear what the nude photos will do for the investigation. However, Biden made it clear that he felt a “moral and ethical duty” to give the committee everything Trump had left behind that wasn’t taken down to Mar-A-Lago.

“Look, folks, I didn’t look at the nudie pics, okay? I respect the former First Lady’s privacy. But the simple truth is that on that fateful day in January, the defeated former president spent hours just staring at these pictures, according to several key people in the room with him,” Biden said. “So, I don’t really have a choice, do I? I have to turn them over. If the pictures were important enough for the former guy to spend all that time looking at on that day, clearly there has to be something in them for the committee to see, right?”

Former President Trump issued a brief statement — which no social media site will let him post on his own — and blasted Biden’s decision while also paradoxically praising the president for “giving the world a sneak peek at Vanky’s perfect, perky peaks.”

“Of course Sleepy Joe did this. He’s rude, all the time. Just plain rude. Some things are to remain private between a father and his daughter, regardless of executive privilege concerns,” Trump wrote. “Even still, I think Joe deserves credit for giving the world a sneak peek at Vanky’s perfect, perky peaks. Why should your favorite president be the only one to enjoy them?”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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