Trump Supporter Wants Trump Wall Extended From Mexico To Bangladesh

COLD CAVE HILLS TENNESSEE — Right-wing blogger, YouTube personality, and social media star Jethro Bohiggins told his podcast audience last night that the failed terror attack on the Port Authority in New York is proof that President Donald Trump’s proposed southern border wall should be extended from Mexico to Bangladesh. Yesterday, a 27-year old from Bangladesh who immigrated to the United States legally and could have been radicalized after his arrival in the U.S., attempted to detonate a suicide bomb that ultimately failed, killing no one, but injuring some.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee told reporters in a briefing yesterday that she believes the immigration policies proposed by Mr. Trump would have prevented the attempted attack.  Rep. Peter King (R-NY), disagreed with that White House assessment, though he did think it could prevent future attacks.

More: Tilapia Lahren Wants NASA To Rename Black Holes Because ‘All Holes Matter’

Jethro thinks Rep. King is “dead wrong about this attack, but spot-on” about future attacks. He wants the Trump administration to sign an executive order demanding that Congress fund the border wall’s extension by thousands of miles. Though Bangladesh isn’t on the list of countries Trump has banned from sending immigrants into the United States from, Bohiggins thinks that step would be unnecessary if the wall is long enough.

“All we gots to do, Fam, is extend that big, beautiful Trump Wall another, what, 8, 9, maybe ten thousand more miles? Sure, it’d be expensive, but if we cut Medicare, Social Security, Meals on Wheels and all federal education funding, we’d have it paid for in a matter of days, I bet,” Jethro posited.

After a moment’s additional thought, he made one more point about paying for the wall.

“Besides, this way, Mexico and Bangladesh can go Dutch on the wall,” Bohiggins insisted. “And if they don’t pay for it, and we, the taxpayers do, isn’t that our patriotic duty? I mean, I don’t know about you all, but I’d much rather pay taxes for a big, huge wall that can just be climbed over or swam under than on things like book learnin’ and feeding the poor. Jesus didn’t want us to be charitable to the point of getting poor people addicted to government, and that’s in the Bible plain as day, if you know how to read between the lines and make stuff up if needs be.”

Even More Satire:

Robert Mueller Also Subpoenas Trump’s Accounts With Douche Bank