When you’re living in historic times, sometimes it’s hard to recognize, contemporaneously, just how historic those times might be.

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For instance, one might presume that a sitting president sucking off Nazis in public and making them feel like they’re on the side of the U.S. federal government would be totally normal. One might also presume that such a president, so willing to smoke Nazi pole publicly, also being a white collar criminal would be “par for the course.” In fact, if one were to also surmise that very same white collar criminal, who licked the taint of white supremacists,  publicly, was also extremely rarefied air as someone who lusted after their own daughter was something quite ho-hum in nature, passe at best, they couldn’t really be blamed.

So, the question remains, just how many daughter-lusting white collar criminals have smoked Nazi pole during a presidential administration? Longtime readers of this publication will recall that we have a dedication to uncovering on and reporting historical facts perhaps not too-commonly known by the American electorate. So we put our best team of researchers on the case, asking them to put together as full and complete a manifest of the presidential candidates who have kissed Nazi taint during a debate, while also harboring deep wanna-fuck-her feelings about his own daughter.

What follows is the complete and total summation of our research team’s work. For copies and transcripts of the research completed by our team, please contact us via email or carrier pidgeon.

Every Daughter Lusting White Collar Criminal Who Smoked Nazi Pole During a Presidential Debate
(In Alphabetical Order)

1. Donald Trump

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.