This Big Ol’ Impeached Pile of Whiny Bitch Couldn’t Even Win the Popular Vote Once In Two Tries!

Let’s play a little guessing game! Can you guess, from the hints we give you below, who this person is?

HINT #1: He is the least-popularly elected president of all time!

HINT #2: He has the most votes cast against him of any presidential candidate of all time!

HINT #3: He is the only impeached president to seek reelection!

HINT #4: He is the first president to never win the popular vote in any campaign!

HINT #5: He is the first president to openly lust after his own female offspring!

HINT #6: He is the first president to pay less in income taxes than a McDonald’s cashier!

HINT #7: He is the first president to never see his approval rating go over 50% his entire term!

HINT #8: He has done the most lines of Adderall of any president ever!

HINT #9: He is a chonk who had to pay a doctor to say he’s not a chonk.

HINT #10: He has a penis that is reportedly both gross and hilariously small.

HINT #11: He is the first American president since Jefferson Davis to have a Southern White House.

HINT #12: He is the first and only president to have expertise in bankrupting casinos.

HINT #13: Fuck this guy.

With all these hints, are you able to figure out who that man is? 

If you guessed “President Bitch Baby McGee,” you’re right, patriot!

MORE: RNC Quietly Removes “Supporting American Democracy” from Party Platform

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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