Trump Boys Ask Lawyers if Daddy Can Just Be “Out-dicted”

Sources close to the situation have reported to various media outlets that former President Donald Trump’s sons are furiously and frantically attempting to find any loophole they can that would rescue their father from the legal peril he is in.

This week, the first of many potential shoes dropped when Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s office officially arrested and arraigned former President Trump. Bragg has charged the alleged billionaire and former reality-TV game show host with a bevvy of crimes stemming from an attempt by Trump to conceal various hush money deals. It was Trump’s deal with porn star Stormy Daniels that broke the dam and sent Bragg’s office on a months’-long effort to investigate, ultimately resulting in almost three dozen felonies being racked up.

RELATED: How Dare They Arrest Trump Like They’d Arrest Everyone Else?

With their father facing uncertainty in the Big Apple, and with more cases in Atlanta and Washington, D.C. that could serve to compound the crisis, they have reportedly been calling the Trump family attorneys constantly. According to a source we spoke to, the last time Eric and Donald Jr called their dad’s lawyer, they had a rather unique proposition, legally speaking, for a Hail Mary to absolve their father of all wrongdoing.

“The Trump boys are obviously very concerned. If prosecutors are going to start treating rich white men like they treat everyone else, that sets a dangerous precedent,” our anonymous source explained. “So they came up with a pretty creative possible solution and asked their dad’s lawyers if he can just simply be the opposite of indicted…OUT-dicted.”

The Trump boys are reportedly still waiting to hear back from their father’s attorneys on their latest proposal.

“Obviously, the lawyers are so blown away by how genius the boys’ idea was, that they’re taking their time figuring out how to implement it before calling them back,” our source guessed. “And we can probably hear them all laughing from New York because of how good an idea it is, and not because they think Don Jr and Eric are twice as stupid as their idiot father.”

RELATED: Hillary Clinton Circling Mar-A-Lago Shouting “Lock Him up!”


Someone let #EricTrump and #DonaldTrumpJr know, will ya? satire politics alvinbragg donaldtrump #trumparrest #politik #political

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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