The following editorial was written by Dustin Pewpsin, a right-wing commentator and Trump 2020 Deputy Campaign Spokesman. The views and opinions expressed herein are those of Mr. Pewpsin, and not necessarily those of this outlet or management.
Well, I guess it was just bound to happen, wasn’t it? Democrats just hate it when Republicans have strong, brave, tiny handed, daughter-lusting patriots to lead us, and the Dems have been after our Dear President ever since he glided down his gilded moving staircase at Trump Tower before the 2016, and told us he was going to save us from tyranny. Now, finally, it appears the witch hunt has gotten their witch, and unlike most witch hunts they have a broomstick, cauldron, pointy hat, and a jar of eyes of newt to back up their claims, whatever evidence even means these days!
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We’re just hours away from jackbooted thugs slapping cuffs on Donald Trump’s wrists and marching him off to Manhattan. Of course it makes me sad. Everyone knows that deep down, the driving animus behind MAGA is that we’re basically sad that life hasn’t turned out the way Rush Limbaugh promised us it would. But you know what else Trump getting arrested does to me?
It makes me mad!
I’m mad that they’re gonna arrest Trump like he’s some commoner! Imagine that! Imagine the Democrats having the unmitigated gall to arrest Donald Trump just because they went through all the proper steps, gave him due process, and wound-up having enough evidence to convince a grand jury that he’s guilty enough to stand trial! Like he’s one of us! As if when he breaks the law it’s the same as when one of us breaks the law!
I don’t personally care if any of the rest of us would have already been indicted, tried, and convicted. That’s the rest of us, not HIM! He’s much more important-er than us, or really anyone else in the history of our country!
It’s not that Donald Trump is above the law. It’s just that he’s so big, he’s bigger than the law.
You can’t really arrest someone who is bigger than the law they broke, can you? Pretty much all you can do is let him go, and tell him you’re sorry for wasting his precious, royal time. And then, and you can look this up in the Constitution or whatever, I think you have to nullify the last election and reinstate him as rightful President-God-King.
Trust me, it’s in there. Keep looking for it.
And as always: Checkmate, Libs.
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