President Retweets Breitbart Article Claiming COVID Can Be Cured with Trump Steaks

Twitter has removed tweets that were retweeted by President Donald Trump this morning. One was a retweet of a video that has come under heavy scrutiny in which a woman claiming to be a doctor touts the effectiveness of hydroxychloroquine as a “cure” for COVID-19. The tweet was labeled as false, and Twitter pulled it down, replacing it with a simple text message of “This Tweet is no longer available.”

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The same video of was pulled down by Facebook as well. The development is sure to enrage a president who is already quite angry about Twitter and social media in general. Yesterday, Trump did something he very rarely does — complained a lot — about how Twitter’s trending topics feature works.

A second tweet was also removed after President Trump retweeted it, and it could have the potential to upset him more than the first removed tweet. A video first posted by the Twitter account handle “@MegaMAGAMan1234696969,” a woman in a white lab coat with a name badge that said “REAL ACTUAL DOCTOR” on it, advised that she and her staff had been prescribing something else for COVID-19 besides hydroxychloroquine, and they’ve seen “bigly miraculous results.”

“Hi! I’m a totally real doctor! My name is Dr. Susie McMedical, and I’m definitely not Ivanka Trump in a shitty brown wig,” the doctor said. “I’m here to tell you right here, and right now, that the mainstream media is hiding a cure for the coronavirus from you, but I’m gonna tell you all right now, and bring their conspiracy down. Are you ready?”

That’s when Dr. McMedical produced a plate with a steak on it. She began cutting up the steak and serving it to her colleagues. Each person took a piece, put it in their mouth, and appeared to stifle a gag before choking it down.

“These wonderful Trump Steaks! They are the cure! Who else but our Dear President would be able to offer us a miracle cure with something they sell,” Dr. McMedical asked. “I tell you what, this is such a miracle, it makes me believe that the Mueller Report exonerated daddy — I mean the president — and that his genitals are definitely not weird!”

The video was reported on by Breitbart writer Nathan Bedford Jefferson Davis Robert Lee, who is known on Parler by his social media handle “The White KKKnight.” Within an hour of its publication, the article had been shared by some of Trump’s most loyal social media surrogates like his son Donald Trump Jr. Finally, by noon, Trump had retweeted the article himself.

“No need to thank me,” Trump tweeted with the article attached, “just remember you literally have to vote for me, by law, this November, and we’re square. You’re welcome for the cure, America!”

The president’s tweet was up for less than ten minutes before it was removed, and the same “This tweet is no longer available” message was put in its place. The White House has yet to respond to having the second tweet pulled down. However, Congressman Devin Nunes agreed to stop spit polishing Trump’s rectum long enough to opine on the situation.

“Leave it to the Democrat Media in the socialist commie press, which relies on capitalist subscription fees to work with their comrades in Big Social to silence our great president,” Nunes told reporters when asked about the developing situation. “I happen to know for a fact that Trump Steaks cure COVID because I injected six Trump porterhouse steaks into my veins last week, and I’ve never felt better!”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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