NEW YORK, NEW YORK — This week, President Donald J. Trump took to twitter and blasted New York before announcing he had recently filed official paperwork to formally declare his place of residence at Mar-A-Lago, his South Florida luxury resort. Mr. Trump has been a resident of New York his entire life, but since taking office the state has come down hard on Trump’s business and charities, forcing the Trump Foundation to shutter completely. Mr. Trump has also been in a bitter fight with the state over his tax records, which New York officials are trying to obtain to further their investigations into his finances.
Federal pardons cannot stop state law enforcement efforts, so no powers of his office could, arguably, prevent there being consequences should any illegalities be found. Despite Trump abandoning them, or perhaps because of it, New Yorkers are trying to send Mr. Trump off in their own, New York kind of way.
A petition making the rounds in the Big Apple has gained public attention and a truckload of signatures. Earlier this year, a petition that got almost 300,000 signatures sought to rename the New York City street that President Donald Trump’s luxury skyscraper hotel and condominium building calls its home. Trump Tower’s address puts the building on the city’s famed 5th Avenue, but the petition asks that one square block of Fifth be redubbed “Barack Obama Avenue.”
Though that name change never took place, millions of New Yorkers have signed a new petition, seeking to rename a landfill after the 45th President of the United States of America.
“We have over three million signatures so far, and we’ve only been passing this petition around for a few hours, really,” New York resident Katie Williamson told us today in a Skype interview. “That means so far three-quarters of New Yorkers want to rename one of our landfills as the Donald Trump Dump. It’s hard to get New Yorkers to agree on what color the sky is, much less come together to put three million signatures on a piece of paper agreeing to rename something in the city. But that just shows you how much this city hates one of its most famous residents, doesn’t it?”
The petition doesn’t specify which landfill would be renamed. New York City generates millions of tonnes of garbage every year, and a lot of is sent to China. Williamson says that a petition to have Trump sent to China on the next garbage barge out of town also picked up a million signatures, but questions about the Constitutionality of packing up a sitting president onto a ship full of garbage, as well as concerns for the health and safety of the ship’s crew, nixed that plan pretty early on.
“Those folks are used to carrying millions of pounds of toxic, disgusting garbage across the ocean,” Williamson explained, “but making them have to listen to Trump go on and on about his Electoral College victory, or how much he wants to sleep with his daughter would be too much for them, we thought.”
Williamson says that if efforts to rename a Manhattan garbage dump after the president fail, there’s one more option.
“A few thousand of us have agree to just start taking a dump on the sidewalk and putting little Trump 2020 flags in the poos we leave,” Williamson said. “It’s crass. It’s vulgar. It’s highly disgusting. But that would just mean our protest methods fit the person we’re protesting. To a tee.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.