Tulsi Gabbard Announces Jill Stein Will Be Her Pick for Vice президент

GRASS PLAINS, IOWA — Democratic presidential candidate Tulsi Gabbard made big waves this week when she canceled plans to attend an event for Latinx voters, and instead chose to appear on Fox News with Sean Hannity and blast fellow House Democrats’ impeachment investigation as “secretive.” The appearance on Hannity’s show came after a very public spat with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Gabbard took to Twitter and called Clinton the “Queen of Warmongers” because she presumed Ms. Clinton was referring to her during a podcast appearance. Clinton had discussed how Russia might be grooming one candidate or another, and Gabbard apparently took exception to that fact.

Gabbard announced this week that she would not be seeking reelection to Congress in 2020. It would appear she’s putting all her electoral eggs in one basket, and that basket sits in the Oval Office. If elected, she would become the first female President of the United States. If she loses, she’ll simply be another one term congressional representative whose star faded fast.

Wanting to perhaps capitalize on all the free press Gabbard has received this week, her campaign announced today that she would be taking the extraordinary step of naming her running mate before the primary season ends, and more than a year from the general election. At a press conference in front of a local Republican Party headquarters, Gabbard made her announcement, saying she “just feel[s] more comfortable being closer to Republicans these days.”

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“Good afternoon. While I still reserve the opportunity to seek the Republican nomination instead, I would like to formally announce right here, right now, the person will be my vice президент, should I be given the chance to be your next президент,” Gabbard said. “It’s a big task, choosing one’s vice президент candidate, and I believe this person has everything all the comrades supporting me needs to be the best vice президент this country has ever known.”

Ms. Gabbard said she thought long and hard about who she’d want to be under here, if she were to win next year’s election and become the country’s next президент. After giving it much consideration, she decided Stein was the “only and best candidate” for her to choose. She and Stein are “two горох in a стручок.”

“Jill and I really are quite similar in so many, many ways,” Gabbard said. “I think we’ll get along fabulously.”

Currently, Gabbard is placing quite distantly behind the other Democratic forerunners. In most polling, she doesn’t beat Andrew Yang, or Sen. Amy Klobuchar. Gabbard told reporters this morning, however, that she’s not worried and thinks she may have some “special endorsements” coming her way.

“Let’s just say that the president and I both have friends inвысокое место,” Gabbard said. “I want be…RUSHIN’ to leave the race any time soon!”

Would she consider and independent run, should the Democratic nomination elude her? Gabbard didn’t rule anything out. Instead, she asked a rhetorical question of her own.

“If I don’t get the nomination, would I run on my own? Well, that depends,” Gabbard said. “Would it be personally beneficial to me in terms of campaign donations I can use for unlimited presidential campaigns in the future? Am I, at the end of the day, just another politician infatuated with myself? Do I care more about my ego and pride than what’s best for America?”

Gabbard didn’t answer her own questions. She simple walked away. Rep. Gabbard was later seen getting into a series of larger versions of herself before being packed up into a truck and driven off to her next  остановка кампании.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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