The longest-running association of morons has officially expelled a sitting member of Congress, a first for the organization. In a press release given to media outlets today, the Moron League of America has kicked Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) off its executive board, and out of the group entirely, due to her anti-vaccine rhetoric of late.
“We’re morons, not cartoon villains,” the Moron League’s announcement begins, “and so it is with a heavy heart that we must say our goodbyes to Marjorie Taylor Greene. Encouraging parents to rip the masks off their ten year old kids before they can even get vaccinated is cruel, not just stupid, and we’re focused solely on stupidity as an organization.”
Established in 1788, the Moron League of America was initially first made up of people who thought it was logical to start a country based on individual liberty and freedom that still allowed slavery. Many of the proponents of the Three-Fifths Compromise — the pact made with racists to only count slaves as a three-fifths of a white person for the purpose of the apportionment of congressional representatives — were founding members of the league. Over time, the group has changed its values as it expelled its racist members.
“Just as we don’t allow Jim Crow lovers among our fold anymore, we do not let cretins who give people dangerous medical advice like not getting vaccines stay with us. Ms. Greene has been permanently removed from our executive team, and stripped of her lifetime membership.”
A couple of Republicans have rushed to Greene’s defense.
“This is obviously what happens when Cancel Culture runs amok,” Rep. Matt Gaetz (Q-Woody Allen’s Estate) told reporters. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to file paperwork on a bill that would make Critical Race Theory illegal in all fifty states.”
Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (Q-CO) said she hopes former, one-term, twice forever impeached President Donald Trump will “look into and fix” the situation for Greene.
“When he’s reinstated to his throne in August, heads will roll for this,” Boebert said. “How can you have a moron league without Marjorie? That’s like having a diarrhea party but not eating Taco Bell beforehand!”
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.