Local Holocaust Denier Outraged To Find Out Trump’s A Climate Denier Too

MINE CAMP, WEST VIRGINIA — Chad Skeeter is a 37 year old white nationalist who believes that the liberal Democrat agenda includes a systematic wiping out of his race, which he calls “white genocide.”

Because of that deeply rooted belief, Skeeter says he’s been a lifelong Republican, though he said his belief in tax cuts for the wealthy causing their extra gains to trickle down to the masses is another reason he’s belonged to the GOP his whole life as well as their hard line stance on immigration. In 2016, Chad says he heard and saw several spoken and “wink and nod” references to white nationalist rhetoric from Donald Trump, and that’s who he voted for.

“Hell, President Trump was spewing so much white nationalist rhetoric, I’d have prolly voted for him even if’n he was a Demonrat,” Skeeter tells us as we head down his local fishing hole. “I mean, when he started his damn campaign off calling Mexicans rapists and murderers, I gotta tell you, I had a boner a mile wide and six miles deep, know what I mean?”

Skeeter also denies the existence of the Holocaust, which he calls a “liberal Jew media myth, perpetrated by Zionists to further a pro-Jew agenda.”

“Or you know, an a-JEW-nda, get it? My fellow Nazis really like that one when I use it,” Chad says with pride.

Since his inauguration, Chad says he’s been, on the whole, very pleased with Trump’s performance so far. Skeeter was “blown away” and “encouraged to no end” when Mr. Trump made his now infamous comments about the violence that befell Charlottesville, Virginia that left one woman dead. The man who ran Heather Heyer, 32, over with his car during that violent weekend of protests is now facing first degree murder charges, but after the incident, Trump couldn’t bring himself to condemn one side over the other.

“When he said that there good people on both sides? Oh man did that give me a real shot in the arm, morale-wise,” Skeeter told us.

Chad’s support and admiration for the president, however, took a sharp turn for the worse when he woke up this morning and read a tweet Trump sent last night. Mocking the science of climate change, Trump tweeted that since it will be the coldest New Year’s Eve on record on the east coast, that they could “use a little bit of that good old Global Warming.” Trump also implied that the Paris climate change accords will cost the country trillions of dollars, a claim some find dubious at best.

“I’m not gonna lie, that tweet is pretty embarrassing. Not just for him, but for all of us who voted for him,” Chad tells us. “I may believe that abortion is murder, and I believe that my white skin means I’m heir to the genetic supremacy that made the western world great, but even I know the damn difference between climate and weather!”

Mr. Skeeter says Trump’s tweet hasn’t made him reconsider his conservative values. He believes in anthropogenic climate change, just not in any government solutions to it. However, he’s deeply disturbed, he says, to see that a “so-called smart and educated man can’t tell the difference between weather patterns and long-term climate statistics.”

“I may want to live a minority-free existence, but even I know you can’t have a pure-white world without a world to make pure white! I’m starting to think Donald Trump isn’t very smart at all,” Chad said.

You can read satire like this every day from The Pastiche Post and Alternatively Facts.

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