WASHINGTON, D.C. — Senator Kyrsten Sinema (D?-AZ) is the current chair of the Senate Basic White Woman Caucus. Comprised of women who are white, and extremely basic in their whiteness, the SBWWC’s charter states it is “devoted to pretending to looking like we care about non-white people” and “preserving every basic white woman’s right to insert herself into the narrative.” Today, during a press conference, Sinema once more reiterated her opposition to eliminating or even changing the filibuster rules so that a new version of the Voting Rights Act, struck down for the last seven years by the Supreme Court along purely ideological lines, could be passed onto President Joe Biden’s desk.
“As you all know, I am a middle-aged white woman, and a basic one at that. I consider myself an ally to all marginalized groups,” Sinema said, “provided what they’re asking for in terms of equality and civil rights isn’t going to upset the more conservative people who I pretend I can get to vote for me. If it means making the oppressors angry, I’m sorry, but I just don’t think it’s worth it to help people gain their full slate of constitutional rights.”
There has been speculation for some time that Synema and West Virginia alleged Democrat Joe Mansion aren’t the only Dems opposed to gutting the filibuster to pass Biden’s agenda, but they are the ones most willing to bear the brunt of the criticism for it. This morning, Sinema said she wouldn’t comment on any other senators’ feelings on the matter. She said, though, that she can understand why someone “might be hesitant to do the right thing if it means making people who would never vote for you even less likely to vote for you.”
“Why have political courage when not doing the right thing for the country is much easier? No one has ever convinced me that, as a white woman, I need to do more than just talk about fixing things,” Sinema explained. “Actually fixing things? Forget that!”
Sinema did a curtsy, and stretched out her hand, putting her thumb down. She made a fart noise with her mouth, and then ran off to go get her hair dyed another outlandish shade, because she’s just UNIQUE and FUN!
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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.