Trump Mocks Biden for Not Being Invited to One of Putin’s ‘Yellow Parties’

This morning, President Joe Biden and Russian President Vladimir Putin held their first summit together since Biden defeated Putin’s preferred candidate and was elected last November. It’s unclear what the exact topics of conversation will be, but given the ongoing and increasing hostilities between the two countries, it was not expected that talks would be extremely cordial.

Just before starting the meeting, Putin referenced “many issues” that he said “need to be discussed” between himself and Biden.

“There are many issues in Russian-American relations that have accumulated and need to be discussed at the highest level,” Putin said. “And I hope that our meeting will be productive.” (NBC News)

While the world waits to hear from each president about how they felt the meeting went, President Putin’s former employee lashed out at Biden. Former President Donald Trump, in a written statement pinned to the front door of his Florida resort because he shut his blog down and doesn’t have any social media accounts anymore, blasted Biden for being “too weak to polish Vlad’s knob” like he did. Trump also mocked Biden for “not being cool enough” to Putin to get an invitation to a special kind of party.

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“I’m sure my old, dear, best friend President Putin will make mince meat of Sleepy Toe-Teepy Biden. Vlad is strong and verile. He has a truly spectacular pair of balls, and I’m probably the best at polishing them, while Joe wouldn’t even know how to find them,” Trump chastised Biden. “One thing I know for sure, Uncle Vlad will not be throwing Sleepy Joe a Yellow Party like he did for ME.”

Trump also claimed that he is the one who should be meeting with Putin. Without citing any evidence, Trump insisted that “there was unavoidable proof” that over six trillion illegal votes were cast in the 2020 election. However, in almost five dozen court cases in the weeks after the election, no judge was presented with anything they could use to overturn the election. Once his insurrection also failed, Trump was left with nothing more to do than leave office.

“We all know that if someone had listened, and if a court would have seen there was unavoidable proof that I won, I’d be making out with Vlad’s taint right now,” Trump wrote. “Six trillion illegal votes — prolly more! — were cast last year. I should be in Vlad’s lap right now, but noooooooooooooooooo! The cucks in the Deep State decided that presidents don’t have the power to ignore the will of the people after all. SAD!”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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