Ingraham Suggests “Concentrating Muslims and Mexicans In Specific Areas” To Ensure GOP Wins

NEW YORK, NEW YORK — Fox News host and the woman who regularly shares brain cells with fellow contributor Tomi Lahren, Laura Ingraham , has a theory as to why the Republican Party was massacred at the ballot box this week in Virginia. Essentially, Ingraham blames immigrants and people’s “dependence” on government programs. Ingraham tweeted this hypothesis earlier this week.

On a segment of a popular right-wing talk radio show, Ingraham explained her theory and suggested one possible solution to the problem she thinks the GOP is facing.

“Look, everyone knows I’m the least racist person on the planet,” Ingraham told the show’s host, “and my brief Nazi salute at the convention last year notwithstanding, I do a good job of saying horrific things based in ridiculous, ignorance-soaked logic and that keeps me from getting labeled an outright racist.”

But despite being not at all racist, Ingraham says, she still has major misgivings about immigrants voting.

“Why should they get to vote, just because they’re citizens? I mean, didn’t white people do a lot to help this country too? Where is the reward for being white going to come from if white people can’t just keep voting to only improve their lives?”

So, Ingraham said, one possible solution to immigrant populations overtaking white populations in various states and forcing the political makeup of the state to the left, encouraging or even forcing immigrants to pool themselves into one geographical location might be better “for all parties concerned,” Ingraham said.

“All I’m saying is that concentrating Muslims and Mexicans into specific areas of the country, very specific areas I’m talking about here — like a few square miles tops — seems to be the best compromise we can come up with,” Ingraham said.

The benefits to this kind of population dispersal, Ingraham said, are at least two-fold.

“One, it lets the variants vote, which we know is important to them for some reason,” Ingraham said, “and more importantly, it means they can never overtake and control an entire state at a time. If you think about it, that’s really what freedom and liberty all about. The freedom to take other peoples’ liberty away because you feel threatened by them exercising it.”

More satire to read:

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Blames Obama’s ‘Residual Sharia Voodoo’ For Republicans Losing Big In Virginia

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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