Hannity Says Trump Is ‘Still the Manliest Sore Loser Cry Baby Bitch’ He’s Ever Known

With each passing day, President Donald Trump’s time in office grows shorter. It started with Election Day, then continued through several recounts. Then, Trump or those supporting his campaign filed — and lost — more than 50 lawsuits attempting to overturn the results of the same election. When the Supreme Court rejected an effort mounted by the Attorney General of Texas to throw out four states’ results, and shortly thereafter the Electoral College certified the results, officially making Trump a lame duck, one-term, outgoing, permanently impeached president, it seemed the undertaker was starting to run out of nails to put in Trump’s political career’s coffin.

On January 6th, Congress meets to affirm the Electoral College’s results, and conceivably pro-Trump loyalists could mount one last, futile stand against democracy and the will of the people. However, with a slew of 11th hour pardons, and other rhetorical clues being given by the president, increasingly a transition from Trump to President-elect Biden has gotten underway in earnest.

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On his radio show this morning, Sean Hannity told his audience that he’s “still very bigly proud” of his friendship and advisory role in Trump’s administration. Hannity indicated that he thinks when historians look back on this time, they’ll not see Trump as “just a sore loser.” Instead, Hannity thinks Trump will go down as the “manliest sore loser” in American history.

“A lot of folks have this really silly notion that it’s not strong, brave, or manly to lose and then whine and cry about losing and the rules of the contest for over a month,” Hannity explained, “however those folks are wrong, very likely socialist commies. Being a sore loser cry baby bitch is what makes Americans great, libs. You might not get this, but nothing says rugged individualist winner like whining non-stop after you lose!”

Hannity compared Trump to the first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln.

“Now, we all know that it would have been better if the South won, for you know, wink-wink, non-racist reasons,” Hannity said, “but the truth is that Lincoln didn’t win every election he ran in, and one time he lost a Senate race and complained about it for like six months until they just made him the winner to shut him up. It’s true. Dinesh D’Souza told me, and when has he ever lied about historical fact to set a political agenda?”

Joe Biden will become the 46th President of the United States of America on January 20th, 2021, regardless of who accepts that fact as reality or not.

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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