COLD CAVE HILLS TENNESSEE — Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins told his fans this week that he is “still processing” the fact that Donald Trump won’t be president after January 20th, 2021. However, he also said in the interest of “moving on and moving forward,” he decided to send Mexico a bill for the “billions of miles of Trump’s wall” that were built in the last four years.
“And can you believe those assholes haven’t even let me know if they got the invoice I sent them or not,” Jethro asked his audience rhetorically. “I spent over four dollars on postage and tracking to make sure I knew when they got it, and even though my tracking number shows they received it, I haven’t gotten a single reply, let alone a check made out to the U.S. Treasury!”
Jethro said he tabulated the cost of the sections of wall that Trump managed to get built during is tenure to be “about a thousand bucks, or so” but admitted that his math skills are such that it could be “much, much more.”
“To be honest with y’all fam, I have no fuckin’ clue how much all those billions miles of wall costed,” Jethro admitted, “but I figured it had to be as much money as I’ve ever seen at one time in my life, a grand. So I put that on the bill I sent Mexico. Those jerks better pay up too!”
The Mexican government issued a brief statement this morning about Bohiggins’ invoice.
“We want to reiterate what we have said every time we are asked about this question over the last four years,” Mexico’s statement reads, “we will not now, or ever, pay for a single centimeter of Trump’s wall. It doesn’t matter who sends us the bill, we are not paying it. Not now. Not later. Not ever.”
Jethro said he’s considering Mexico for “making Trump into a liar,” which he says is a “direct act of war.”
Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.