Hillary Clinton Circling FBI Headquarters Shouting “Locked Him Up! Locked Him Up! Locked Him Up!”

Angry Driver

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Last year, in the middle of one of the country’s most hotly contested presidential campaigns, General Michael Flynn, a career serviceman who had held tenure under the Obama administration, led a Donald Trump campaign rally in a chant of “Lock Her Up!”

That chant was directed at former Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton, a not so subtle dig at her for the roiling controversy over her use of a private email server while she was at the State department. An oft-used talking point of the Trump campaign wound up being the phrase, “Lock Her Up,” and the implication that she is a criminal that belongs in prison was made by several of Trump’s surrogates.

However, 2017 brought a precipitous fall for Mr. Flynn, as he was forced to resign in February when it was discovered he lied to Vice President Mike Pence about contacts with Russian representatives during the campaign. Those contacts seem to be at the heart of the newest development in Flynn’s saga, as this morning he was arrested in connection to Special Counselor Robert Mueller’s investigation into Russia’s meddling in the election last year. Flynn was brought into custody on a single count of making a false statement to the FBI, which some say indicates he may have a plea deal in place and could “roll over” on other administration or campaign officials.

Sources are also reporting that for the last hour and a half, a late model sedan driven by Hillary Clinton has been circling the FBI headquarters where Flynn is presumably being processed until he can be arraigned later today.


RELATED: Report: Obama Still Secretly Questions Trump’s Human Birth Certificate

“Locked him up! Locked him up! Locked him up,” Ms. Clinton can be heard shouting from the driver’s seat as she passes the building.

Witnesses close to the scene say that the John Lennon recording of his song, “Instant Karma,” can be heard over the car’s sound system.  Authorities say Ms. Clinton isn’t violating any laws or rules, and she’ll be allowed to circle the block as long as she doesn’t begin to break any laws.

“That’s the cool thing abut the First Amendment,” one law enforcement official told us, “Even if a certain, say, orange skinned tyrannical trust fund racist is offended by it, we don’t have to go and arrest people for expressing themselves in this country.

Flynn is set to be arraigned this morning on the charge brought against him by Mueller.


More satire:

He’s Voting For Moore Because He “Keeps Teen Girls Safe From Transgenders In Bathrooms So He Can Fuck Them Later”

Comments

comments

More from James Schlarmann

CNN Constructs Silo to Store GOP Debate Bullshit

Ahead of tomorrow night's GOP Debate, CNN has taken big steps to...
Read More