Good Cop Will Speak Up Once He’s Witnessed His 15th Unlawful Killing

SKOKIE, ILLINOIS — Officer Dustin Grayson is an exemplary policeman. In his 12 year career, Grayson has garnered several awards from the police union in his Illinois town. Asking any of his co-workers about him will get you a glowing review of his work. Grayson, in fact, is such a good cop that he recently told our reporters he had “had enough” of the spat of police officers killing suspects, often times young black man, often times unarmed, instead of bringing them in alive and under arrest as he says, “the Constitution tells you to do,” and he says that if he witnesses 15 unlawful killings, he’ll “definitely speak up” about it.

“I’m on unlawful killing twelve now,” Grayson told our interviewer, “so that means if I’m in the vicinity of a cop killing a suspect they should have by all rights brought in alive three more times, I’m not going to sit back and say nothing anymore.” Grayson told our reporter that he witnessed his first unlawful use of deadly force while a police officer within two months of graduating the academy and being partnered with a man who would later empty six rounds into a fleeing suspect, though he says an internal investigation and the District Attorney determined that Grayson’s partner was justified because he “felt scared for his life as the suspect was literally running as fast as he could away from the officer.”

In another unlawful killing he witnessed, one of his other partners was briefly suspended without pay when he killed a 15 year old black child less than a minute after arriving on scene. Grayson and that partner had gotten a call from a “concerned citizen” as the police report would say, and they arrived to find a young teenager walking toward a McDonald’s restaurant. According to the report, the teenager failed to stop when asked by Grayson’s partner where he was going, and then he “gave a menacing look to the officer” the report said, “and the officer felt compelled to fire four rounds into the suspect’s body to subdue them, for fear of being overtaken and killed.” Investigators would later find out the boy was going to work at the McDonald’s and couldn’t hear Grayson’s partner with his headphones on, though the officer involved in that shooting again was exonerated because in the words of the report, “he felt kind of nervous about how the distracted black teenager looked at him for a couple of brief seconds.”

“I just can’t watch another dozen unlawful killings and stay silent,” Grayson told our reporter, “but I also don’t want to jump the gun, know what I mean? Sure, seeing twelve separate incidents of wanton murder under the guise of police work is disturbing as hell. But I’ve spoken to cops who have seen fifty incidents like this and never speak up, so I’m trying to find that healthy balance between my oath of service, my principles, and my devotion to the fraternal brotherhood of apathetic, unconstitutional police officers, know what I mean?”




Grayson said that he understands it’s “vital for every cop out there” to know that they have to speak up once they’ve “witnessed enough brutal violence the likes of which they are ostensibly charged with preventing” perpetrated against suspects. “Due process, probable cause, and judicious use of force are really important for cops,” Grayson said while the interview was wrapping up, “but I mean, you can’t just speak up after the first one, two, three, or even ten times you see your partner beat someone up for no reason, or fire several rounds into their body when they pose no actual threat to their life.”

“Every cop deserves 15 benefits of the doubt,” Grayson said, “and just because the kids who are shot dead in the street only get one chance, that doesn’t mean we should jump to any conclusions about cops who murder people.”


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About James Schlarmann 2281 Articles
James is the founding contributor and editor-in-chief of The Political Garbage Chute, a political satire and commentary site, which can be found on Facebook as well. You definitely should not give that much a shit about his opinions.
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