William Shatner Boldly Goes Where No Other Over-Actor Has Gone Before

Today, 90-year-old William Shatner boarded one of billionaire Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin spaceships and made history. While he became the oldest man to ever reach those heights, Shatner’s journey to the edge of space was notable for perhaps an even bigger reason.

He is now the only over-actor to reach space.

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“It’s really quite remarkable that it took over six decades of space exploration for this moment to happen,” space historian Heidi Hilbert told us, “but once we’d sent our first female, and first people of color into orbit, humanity seemed to forget that there are dozens of over-actors out there, desperate to steal focus and try way too hard…in space.”

Shatner is of course quite famous for his multiple starring roles as Capt. James T. Kirk in the Star Trek franchise. While quite a few of his Trek cast members have passed on, George Takei, better known perhaps as “Mr. Sulu,” wished Shatner the “best of luck,” and tweeted that it’s “quite fitting” for his former captain to make the journey on Blue Origin’s ship.

“Bill always thought he was above us all anyway, and he couldn’t possibly be any higher than us than he will be when he’s up there,” Takei tweeted, “and of course he’d do it aboard another fellow rich asshole’s space ship.”

When he arrived back on the ground, Shatner took part in a press conference. One reporter asked him if he would be for or against other over-actors, younger ones, also making the same journey he made, but without any proper training.

“Would be for or against it? Let me think about that for a second,” Shatner said, rubbing his chin extremely demonstrably, “Well, I’m definitely not pro-that. So, I would say I would be…CONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!-that.”

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Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmannhttp://www.facebook.com/JamboSchlarmbo
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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