White Nationalist Having Taylor Swift Tattoo Lasered Off

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE — White nationalist and pro-Trump poccaster Jethro Bohiggins says he feels “utterly and completely betrayed” since late Sunday afternoon, and he’s going to extreme measures to make himself feel better.

“I just don’t get it! How could Taylor Swift do this to her clearly MAGA fan base,” Jethro howled at his audience this week. “I just assumed she was staying quiet and apolitical to, like, throw the libtards off her scent, but I guess she was doin’ cuz she was afraid of some angry mob coming for her because we don’t like her views.”

Jethro spat into a nearby “Lock Her Up” mug.

“And that’s just crazy to me, we’re not some angry mob,” Jethro said. “Excuse me, I gotta turn down the TV. It’s still got last night’s Trump rally on, and I don’t want the shouts of ‘She’s a Criminal Cunt’ and ‘The Media are the Enemy of the People’ to get in the way of my show, fam.”

What got Bohiggins’ knickers in a twist was an Instagram post singer/songwriter Taylor Swift posted to her Instagram account. In the post, Swift acknowledges that she has intentionally steered clear of political debates in her career, but that the events of 2016 and after compelled her to speak out, now ahead of the 2018 midterm elections.

“So you know what I did, fam? I made a few calls to find someone who does laser tattoo removal,” Bohiggins told his audience. “I gotta say, fam, I was surprised by how many laser tattoo removal places there are in Tennessee, but I had to explain to every single one I didn’t wanna take off my Klan tats.”

Jethro says that he has an appointment next week to have his Taylor Swift tattoo removed.

“Technically I gots two of tats that are Taylor-centric,” Jethro admitted. “I have her on one arm, and my favorite T. Swift lyrics as a tramp stamp. The lyrics are staying, for now. She has until the midterms to show she’s not a libtarded lady cuck, or they get wiped out, too.”

Bohiggins informed his audience his show would be on a brief hiatus while he recovered from having his Taylor Swift tattoo removed.

See Swift’s Instagram post, below:

View this post on Instagram

I’m writing this post about the upcoming midterm elections on November 6th, in which I’ll be voting in the state of Tennessee. In the past I’ve been reluctant to publicly voice my political opinions, but due to several events in my life and in the world in the past two years, I feel very differently about that now. I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all deserve in this country. I believe in the fight for LGBTQ rights, and that any form of discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender is WRONG. I believe that the systemic racism we still see in this country towards people of color is terrifying, sickening and prevalent. I cannot vote for someone who will not be willing to fight for dignity for ALL Americans, no matter their skin color, gender or who they love. Running for Senate in the state of Tennessee is a woman named Marsha Blackburn. As much as I have in the past and would like to continue voting for women in office, I cannot support Marsha Blackburn. Her voting record in Congress appalls and terrifies me. She voted against equal pay for women. She voted against the Reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act, which attempts to protect women from domestic violence, stalking, and date rape. She believes businesses have a right to refuse service to gay couples. She also believes they should not have the right to marry. These are not MY Tennessee values. I will be voting for Phil Bredesen for Senate and Jim Cooper for House of Representatives. Please, please educate yourself on the candidates running in your state and vote based on who most closely represents your values. For a lot of us, we may never find a candidate or party with whom we agree 100% on every issue, but we have to vote anyway. So many intelligent, thoughtful, self-possessed people have turned 18 in the past two years and now have the right and privilege to make their vote count. But first you need to register, which is quick and easy to do. October 9th is the LAST DAY to register to vote in the state of TN. Go to vote.org and you can find all the info. Happy Voting! 🗳😃🌈

A post shared by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on

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