Trump Boys “Playing Government” With Daddy During Shutdown

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump is presiding over yet another shutdown of the federal government under his watch. Now, over ten days after the fight over funding for his border wall met an impasse that caused the government to shutter itself until an agreement can be reached between Trump, the Democrats who now control the House, and Republicans in the Senate, word is that Donald Trump Jr. and his brother Eric have been dressing up as various government officials and mock-running the government with their father over the holiday break.

“A couple of days ago, Junior and Eric showed up dressed as Ben Carson and Wilbur Ross,” one White House aide told us. “The president was really impressed with Junior’s blackface. And said he looked just as urban as Secretary Carson.”

Sources say that the trio of Trumps have been running around the White House, pretending to make big policy decisions and implement them, holding faux-cabinet meetings, and even holding an imaginary meeting in the Situation Room, where they pretended to watch President Trump order a nuclear strike on California for “being petulant libtards.”

“The three of them were quite pleased with themselves,” our source told us. “They were really laughing it up and having a great time. Eric even pretended to be the Attorney General and fired Robert Mueller, or who Eric called ‘that mean man with all the facts about our criminal enterprise.’ Same diff, really.”

Reportedly, the president is considering leaving the government shut down so that his new, totally imaginary one can continue in its place. Our source within the White House says that several staffers are totally okay with that idea.

“Let’s face it, Trump’s no more the real president than Dubya was anyway,” our source said. “The difference is that Bush was having strings pulled from the Vice-President’s office, and Trump’s getting his pulled from the Kremlin, like with the decision to pull out of Syria. Since most of Trump’s accomplishments have been a figment of his imagination, he figured the whole government should be too.”

The White House did not comment on this story.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because he has a potty mouth.

James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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