Today is St. Patrick’s Day, and nobody knows that better than former, one term, twice permanently impeached, subject of several criminal investigations, historically least popularly elected, President Donald Trump.
Reportedly, St. Patrick’s Day is one of Trump’s all-time favorite holidays. According to the staff at Mar-A-Lago, Trump really gets into the spirit of things. Usually, he can be seen pinching staff and guests who aren’t wearing green, from sun up to sundown. Apparently, though, there’s one person Trump likes to pinch, no matter how much green she’s wearing.
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“This morning, I overheard Mr. Trump on the phone with former First Lady Ivanka,” one anonymous staffer told us in a Skype call. “He told her to come over for St. Paddy’s brunch, and that he’d made a special reservation for the two of them, with private seating. Which he then said meant she’d be seating her privates on his face.”
Then, former President Trump told his daughter-lover that he planned to “pinch her by the pussy,” according to our source.
“Trump told Ivanka she should let him do it, because he’s a star,” our source said. “He was laughing hysterically, and she was crying loudly enough on the other end that we could all hear her. ”
Happy #StPatricksDay from #DonaldTrump and #IvankaTrump everyone! #satire #politics #political #politik