As Biden Is Sworn In, Trump Wants Air Force One Loaded With Supporters That He’ll Fly to Guyana

Next month, President-elect Joe Biden will be sworn in as the 46th President of the United States. Even though that truth does not sit well with the current president, his legal challenges to the results keep failing in court.  His  time in the White House is running out, no matter what he says to the contrary.

As reported first by Alternative Facts, it appears that privately, at least, President Trump has more fully grappled with the idea that he lost last month. Just because he knows he lost, though, doesn’t mean he’ll play nicely and ensure a smooth transition of power. In fact, it’s being reported that he’s looking for ways to steal the spotlight from Biden the day the president-elect is given the oath of office.

Reportedly, President Donald Trump is so miffed about losing his re-election bid that he is deeply contemplating trying to rob Biden of at least some of the spotlight on Inauguration Day. While historically outgoing presidents have attended the ceremony to help usher in a peaceful transition power, sources close to the president say his rectal area is still in far too much pain for him to do something that remotely shows class or dignity. Instead, reports have been swirling that Trump plans to hold one of his MAGA rallies somewhere in Florida literally as Biden is taking over his job from him. (AltFacts)

Sources say, though, that initial reports weren’t quite right. Instead of holding a MAGA rally in America’s Floppy Dong, President Trump wants to do it in Guyana, at a resort that was built decades ago which has plenty of room for Trump and his followers. The outgoing president wants to fly as many of his supporters with him, aboard Air Force One. When Trump and his supporters arrive in Guyana, they will set up Trump Town.

…where expatriated Americans who are upset with Biden’s election can join him, living in, as one administration source called it, a “bubble of delusion so thick nobody can penetrate it.” (AltFacts)

Press Secretary Barbie McDitzydick explained that the president “plans to use his last, waning moments in power to board Air Force One with as many of his followers as can fit, and then whisk everyone off to beautiful Guayana.”

“Guests who join the president will be treated to in-flight snacks and all the punch you can drink,” McDitzydick teased. “It’s going to be quite the party!”

Once they arrive, everyone will deplane from Air Force One and begin construction on a new Trump Hotel. The president plans to handle building the new hotel the same way he’s handled building all of his hotels. He won’t pay anyone for their work, and he plans to run it into the ground by 2024. (AltFacts)

“President Trump isn’t sure the hotel will even get finished,” McDitzydick would later hedge. “It depends on how much punch everyone has once they get down there.”

Like what you read? Consider becoming a paid Facebook subscriber, or signing up for my Patreon.

Writer/comedian James Schlarmann is the founder of The Political Garbage Chute and his work has been featured on The Huffington Post. You can follow James on Facebook, Spotify, and Instagram, but not Twitter because Twitter is a cesspool.

James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

More Articles Like This