Trump Pleaded the Fifth When Asked By NY AG If He Was Ivanka’s Lover, Father, or Employer

Recently, it was revealed that when he was deposed by the New York Attorney General in a case involving his family business, former one-term, twice permanently impeached President Donald J. Trump asserted his Fifth Amendment rights dozens of times, refusing to answer questions he was asked by prosecutors. In the past, Trump has insinuated that his political rivals were all guilty if they took the Fifth Amendment during their testimony.

Today, it was revealed that Trump even pleaded the Fifth when asked a simple question about his relationship to Ivanka Trump. Below is a transcript of the deposition.

PROSECUTOR: Mr. Trump, you do know who Ivanka is, do you not?

DONALD J. TRUMP: From what I understand, she’s some hot piece of ass that worked for me at one point, yes.

PROSECUTOR: Wait, do you regularly refer to your own daughter as a “hot piece of ass,” Mr. Disgraced Ex-President?

DONALD J. TRUMP: Is that…is that who she is?

PROSECUTOR: Do you not know if she’s your daughter, sir?

DONALD J. TRUMP: I plead the Fifth.

PROSECUTOR: You plead the Fifth about if she’s your daughter?


PROSECUTOR: Okay, but I have to say, the way you talked about her, made me think she was your lover. Was she was your lover?

DONALD J. TRUMP: Plead the Fifth.

PROSECUTOR: You want to plead the Fifth about whether you’ve doinked your own daughter, Mr. Can’t Win the Popular Vote?


PROSECUTOR: Okay…but you can confirm that, whoever this Ivanka woman was, she was on your payroll? She was an employee of yours?

DONALD J. TRUMP: After thinking about it further, I’d like to plead the Fifth on that one, too.

PROSECUTOR: Just so we are clear, you will not answer whether Ivanka Trump is your daughter, lover, or employee, or all three?

DONALD J. TRUMP: Yes, yes that is bigly correct.

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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