The Alternative Facts of Trump’s First State Dinner (VIDEO)

While on the campaign trail, candidate Donald Trump said a lot of things. As the world has come to find out, Mr. Trump is absolutely a man of word.

Swamp? Totally drained. (Except that Mulvaney guy who admitted he liked to be bribed as a congressman, but whatevs to that, right fam?)

Wall? Totally built, 18,000 miles high, 18 trillion dollars under budget, and keeping 18 trillion illegal Mexicans out of the country.

Crooked Killary Clint-Stoned? Locked up.

Barack Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate: Hanging in the Smithsonian.

State Dinners? NONE. Zero. Zilch. Nada – Oh wait.

Okay, so maybe President God Emperor Daddy Trump didn’t keep his word on state dinners. Despite telling Americans in 2016 that he wouldn’t hold any until the U.S. didn’t have any trade deficits with other countries, President Trump held his first official state dinner of his presidency this week, hosting French President Emmanuel Macron and the French First Lady. By all counts it was a splendid time of pussy grabs and microwave selfies to be had by all.

But hey, that’s just one very minor broken campaign promise, right folks? Let’s just ignore it, and focus on the fabulous state dinner. We here at Alt Facts knew that plenty of outlets would report the facts of the dinner, but not many, if any, would report the alternative facts, and so we put the following video together, for your edification.

James‘ satire is found on:
Alternative Facts
Alternative Science,
The Political Garbage Chute
The Pastiche Post

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James Schlarmann
James Schlarmann
Comedian, writer, semi-amateur burrito wrangler and platypus aficionado, James cannot and will not be pigeonholed by anyone's expectations. Unless you want to pay him money, in which case his principles are as malleable as his "children" are "in need of food." Winner of absolutely zero lifetime achievement awards. You should definitely not give a shit about his opinions. James' satire is also found on: Alternative Facts, Alternative Science, The Political Garbage Chute, The Pastiche Post, Satirical Facts Hire James to create (very likely) funny content.

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