xenophobia

MAGA Boy: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his podcast, right-wing YouTube star and alt-right country music sensation Jethro Bohiggins said that he is "sick and goddamned tired" of President Trump's "white America First agenda" being overshadowed...

David Duke, American Nazi Party, KKK Condemn Media for Implying Racists Wear MAGA Hats

DÉSOSSAGE VOTRE COUSIN, MISSISSIPPI -- This morning, in a rare and unforeseen turn of events, a joint statement was written and released by white supremacist David Duke, the American Nazi Party, and the Ku Klux Klan. The statement categorically...

Laura Ingraham Kicked Out of Dry Cleaners For Arguing With Staff After She Lost The Ticket To Claim Her White Robe

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Authorities at this hour are confirming that right-wing radio host and Birch Society spokesterrorist Laura Ingraham has been booted out of a Manhattan dry cleaners after she got into an intense and heated argument...

Trump Orders Congress To Make “Fascist Toady” Protected Class Like Race, Religion, Sexual Preference

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump issued an "Official Presidenting Decree" from the Oval Office this morning, demanding that Congress immediately pass legislation that bars discrimination based on "being a member of a lying, fascist crime syndicate and/or presidential administration." "I...

DHS Seeks Deal With PETCO To Provide Crates For Immigrant Child Detention Centers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House announced today that the Department of Homeland Security wants to purchase 100,000 dog crates of various sizes from PETCO to be used in detention centers across the country in order to house children...

Trump Orders The Formation Of New, “ICE-S” Squad For Hispanic or Muslim Deportation Arrests

DAVOS, SWITZERLAND -- While traveling overseas to meet with the world's richest and most elite members of society, President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Air Force One directing the Immigration and Customs Enforcement department to establish a...

President Trump Blames Bomb Cyclone On Muslim Ban Court Delays

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump acknowledged the deadly winter storms battering the country's northeast region. Referred to as a "bomb cyclone," a massive stormfront dumped more than a foot of snow in the region, and now bone chattering...

Man Who Got C’s In High School English Demands Immigrants ‘Speak American’ or Go Home

"What do they think gives them the right to speak whatever language they want?"

President Trump Orders The Statue of Liberty’s Torch Blown Out

To save money and discourage immigration, President Trump has ordered the torch carried by the Statue of Liberty blown out.
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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