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Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some good news for a change. The COVID-19 pandemic is still raging throughout the country, with enormous portions of the economy still under at least some form of restriction...

Flaming Cross to Deliver 2020 RNC Keynote Address

CHARLOTTE, NORTH CAROLINA -- Last week, the Democratic National Committee held its annual convention and officially nominated former Vice President Joe Biden as its candidate for the presidency. It was a convention for the record books, but not because...

Fauci Pronounces Trump ‘Dead From the Neck-Up’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci pronounced the President of the United States of America "dead from the neck-up." MORE: Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With Fauci's pronouncement marks a...

Should I Be Concerned That My Penile Discharge Looks Exactly Like Stephen Miller?

Author's Note: Before reading this column any further, please be advised that I will be discussing a personal medical matter in great, gory detail. If you are the kind who finds yourself a little squeamish about topics of a frank,...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked and flown into the World Trade Center in New York, as well as into the Pentagon. The Al Qaeda linked hijackers also took over a plane that was...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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