Women's Health

Oklahoma Man Extradited to Texas After Being Caught Spanking It in Dallas

GILEAD COUNTY, TEXAS -- Officials with the Texas State Sex Fluid and Biomatter Protection Agency are reporting this morning that they have 35-year-old Fred Franklin in custody. Franklin had been wanted in connection to an alleged attempted genocide of millions...

Bleach and Coat Hangers Sold Out in 65% of Texas Counties

In well over half of the counties in Texas, consumers won't be able to find any household bleach, or buy any new coat hangers for quite some time. That's because the Lone Star state is currently experiencing what one...

TX Governor Signs Law Affirming Life Begins at Erection

AUSTIN, TEXAS -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q-TX) signed a law today that makes seeking or obtaining an abortion after the point of erection illegal. "It is with great pride, and a solemn commitment to protecting the life of the unborn...

Experts Say Arkansas Abortion Ban Could Mean State Sees 100,000% Increase in Cousin-Siblings

"A scenario that forces every pregnancy to full-term could cause the incestual American population in the state to absolutely, positively explode."

Tom Cotton Can’t Wait to Be All Up Inside Your Pussies, America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Maybe it won't happen. In order for it to happen, not only does President Donald Trump need to win re-election, he would need to select Senator Tom Cotton over every other name on the president's shortlist...

Town Shocked When Man Does Not Tell Women What to Do With Their Vaginae

A man in a small town decides he has too much to do to worry about all the vaginae in the land, and declines to have an opinion on abortion.

Study Shows 100% of Abortions None of Your Business

Several red states are in various stages of implementing sweeping abortion bans aimed squarely at eventually toppling the 1973 landmark Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision that affirmed the right of all women in the country to terminate their pregnancy before...

Alabama Pro-Lifers Grant Personhood to Precum

LAKE DORMIR AVEC LEURS COUSINS, ALABAMA -- Pro-life Republicans in the State of Alabama have been steadily attacking the rights of women in their state to seek an abortion for quite some time, and have been particularly agressive in...

Kentucky Republicans Want Law Banning Abortion After Sexual Attraction

Kentucky Republicans join their Ohio counterparts in pushing tougher abortion restrictions.

Town Republican Okay With Abortion Rape Exception ‘Only If She Wasn’t Askin’ For It’

One local Republican thinks abortion laws should be altered in his state, but only if a woman can prove she didn't in some way deserve to be raped.
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Donald Trump Finding Out

Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have never, and never will apply...
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