William Barr

Trump Announces Start of “Operation Legendary Fascist Show of Force Against People of Color”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donaldito Trumpolini gave an address to His nation from the White Power House today, announcing alongside Gestapo Generalisimo Guillermo Barr and FBI Director Christopher Wray, that he was authorizing a surge of federal troops into...

Barr Says Presidents Can Ignore Election Results They Don’t Agree With

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr, in an interview with Slimebag Fascist Enabling Toady Fucksticks Quarterly, intimated that he believes his operating principle of "unitary presidential power" gives a sitting president the legal authority to ignore any election results they...

Doctors Discover Fatal Rectal Cancer in Department of Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Doctors in the nation's capital discovered what they're calling the "most aggressive, repugnant, fatal rectal cancer" of their collective medical careers in the Department of Justice this morning. During routine screenings, D.C. medical staff found stage 15...

Hillary Clinton Offers to Represent Roger Stone at Future Parole Hearings

LAKE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State and 2016 Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Rodham Clinton formally offered to be Roger Stone's legal counsel for any future parole hearings he may have. While the judge in his trial...

Quiz: Which of These Big, Dumb, Obnoxious, Lying Idiots Thinks He’s Above the Law?

Things are getting really complicated, heady, and for some, perhaps even downright scary out there these days. It seems the country is lurching toward even more Constitutional crises as a nation, polarized as it always has been, grapples with...

Trump Promises: “We’re Only Covering-Up How Innocent I Really, Truly Am, I Pinky Swear!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- There is a battle currently going on between one-half of the legislative branch of government and Donald Trump's executive branch. There is no denying that one very palpable and easily seen after effect of the 2018 midterm...

Barr Investigating If Obama Administration Forced Trump to Be Lifelong Lying Conman and Racist Idiot

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Earlier this year, during Senate testimony, William Barr -- Attorney General and designer of President Trump's latest model of handbags designed to carry water for as long is as necessary -- sent shock waves through the...

Barr Says Mueller Report Exonerates Trump for Saying Mexico Would Pay for Border Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Barr is not done exonerating President Donald Trump based on the highly-anticipated report from FBI Special Counsel Robert Mueller. "This morning, I had the time to quickly scan, like I did last time, the full...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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