White House

Housekeeping Unsure How Long It Will Take to Fumigate Stench of Stupid from White House

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Perhaps its current occupant is still unwilling to face facts, but the simple truth is that on January 20th, 2021, a new couple will move into the White House. Reportedly, the cleaning staff at the president's...

President Trump Eliminates The Judicial Branch Via Executive Order

You might think the country really needs its Judicial Branch, but if you do, you're probably a libtarded beta cuck male and should shut up.

Trump Signs Executive Order Officially Declaring His Penis “Straight, Effective, And Completely Normal Sized”

Will President Donald Trump's latest executive order finally put to a rest nasty rumors swirling around him and his junk?

Mexico Offers to Pay to Remove Trump’s White House Wall

DELAWARE -- The Joe Biden presidential campaign received a letter from the Federal Government of Mexico today, offering to assist covering any costs incurred to remove the new fence, or wall, that President Donald Trump has erected around the...

Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Depending on whether the federal judge in his criminal case allows the Department of Justice to drop the charges against retired Army General Michael Flynn, he's been cleared to return to the White House by the...

Summer’s Eve To End Donald Trump Signature Line Of Products

After Nordstrom's and other retailers drop their ties to his daughter, Summer's Eve has decided to cut its Donald Trump line.

Trump Misses Blaming Farts on Sarah Huckabee Sanders

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- While taking a stroll on the grounds of the White House this morning, the subject of farts and farting was weighing heavily on the man we're still letting be president for some reason. First, Trump mentioned that...

Trump Bans Staff from Using Any “I-Words”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, a visibly agitated President Trump held a press conference in the Rose Garden after a meeting with Democrats Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Senator Chuck Schumer blew up. Trump was reportedly angry that Speaker of...

Lying Sack Of Shit Working For Obnoxious Asshole Who Spread Racist Rumor For a Decade Has Feelings Too, Apparently

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Despite being a combative, curt, condescending, tantrum throwing, filibustering, intellectually and literally dishonest sack of shit, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders apparently has feelings, too. Rumors of Huckabee's alleged humanity have floated around for months, but without...

Trump Administration Wants Planned Parenthood To Help With Separating Illegal Immigrant Children From Mothers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the Donald Trump administration turned heads and shocked perhaps a few million people when they announced that a partnership with Planned Parenthood between the White House and the country's leading provider of low cost...
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Latest News

Mark Meadows Signals Intent to Plead the Filth Before January 6th Committee

Former White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows, through his attorney, has made the House Select Committee investigating the...
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