Man Blames Violent RPGs For Inspiring Him To Attack School Full Of Young Wizards

LONDON, ENGLAND -- Authorities with the Ministry of Magic are confirming at this hour that a man has been apprehended while attempting to attack a school of young wizards. "At approximately half-past two this afternoon, Mr. Tom Marvolo Riddle, alias...

William Barr Writes 4 Page Letter Summarizing Harry Potter Novels and Exonerating Voldemort

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr has only been back at the Department of Justice for a couple of weeks, but has already made a reputation for himself as someone who loves to write summaries. "His Mueller Report summary...
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I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?

I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that I'd even be thinking about...
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