Club Owner Not Sure Who This “Jim Breuer” Guy Is, But Is Requiring Audience Vaccination Anyway

"You're saying he's done something remotely comedic in the last 20 years?" HARDIHAR FALLS, MINNESOTA -- Recently, vintage comedian Jim Breuer announced that he would not book any shows with venues that require audiences to get a COVID-19 vaccination before...

Dr. Alex Jones Prescribes 30 mg of Chemtrails and Frog De-Gayer for Joe Rogan’s COVID

FT. DIPSHIT, TEXAS -- Yesterday, to the shock of absolutely nobody who passed high school biology class, vaccine and mask skeptic Joe Rogan announced on his extremely popular podcast that he contracted COVID-19. "BROS AND LADY-BROS! I HAVE SOME SUPER...

Urologist Fears America’s Penis May Never Fully Recover from COVID-19 Delta Surge

Dr. Richard Schvantz has been a licensed, board certified urologist for over 40 years, and he has never been this alarmed when looking at any penis before. "My entire professional career has been dedicated to learning about diseases of the...

Unvaccinated America First Patriot Refuses to Wear a Mask or Condom While Raw-Dogging His Cousin

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- In an interview soon to be published in American ConservaFascist Today, Jethro Bohiggins -- right-wing podcaster, singer/writer -- says he will never wear a mask, or a condom, while having sex with his cousin,...

Alabama Offering Anyone Who Gets Vaccinated Free Nudes of Their Sister

MONTGOMERY, ALABAMA -- All over the country, states are trying desperately to get their residents to take one of the three FDA-approved COVID-19 vaccines. Most economists agree that a key factor in getting economies going again after nearly a...

Anti-Vaxxer Outraged Mark Zuckerberg and His Wife ‘Listened to Common Sense and Science’

One man is incensed at Mark Zuckerberg for protecting his daughter against life-threatening disease.

Report: Texas Republicans Want to Draft Anti-ObamaVaxx Bill

Are Texas Republicans going to force their state to take a stand against Obama's mandatory vaccinations, even if they don't exist in reality?
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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