Tucker Carlson

Recently Orphaned Ukrainian Grateful Glenn Greenwald Sticks Up for Tucker, Tulsi, and Putin

Less than a month ago, Russia began its illegal invasion of Ukraine, and in that time much devastation and destruction has been wrought. In the fog of war, getting accurate numbers is always a challenge, but independent reports are...

Tucker Carlson Lands Exclusive Interview With Putin’s Taint

A visibly excited Tucker Carlson announced on Fox News this morning that he would be flying to Moscow this weekend for the purpose of conducting what he called the "most important and consequential interview" of his career. "Brian, let me...

Ted Cruz Insists He Can Gargle Tucker and Trump’s Fruit Baskets Simultaneously

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Two days ago, Sen. Ted Cruz (Q-Cancun) described the events of January 6th, 2021 using factual terms that appropriately define what happened that day. Cruz, speaking in a Senate hearing, called former President Don Trump's failed...

Man Apologizes for Losing Track of His Dick Long Enough for It to Become Fox News Host

BALLCRUST VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- It's a time in his life Jack Strohkinoff will never forget. "Up to that point, I was known as the guy who never lost a damn thing. Not my keys. Not the TV remote. Nothing," Strohkinoff...

Tucker Carlson Will Interview Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Balls on Tonight’s Show

"I really think it makes sense for a dick like me to interview a couple of nuts." - Tucker Carlson Tonight, Fox News host and white supremacist Tucker Carlson will have a guest that is sure to make headlines the...

CDC: Increased Risk of COVID Infection After Exposure to Blathering, Right-Wing Morons

ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The CDC held an urgent press conference this morning during which Dr. Allison Cooper stopped just short of begging Americans to turn off Fox News, OAN, and NewsMax. "At this point in time, what we can say...

Tucker Carlson: NSA Agents Were in His Closet Spying and One of The Agents Looked at Him

"NSA agents were in my closet, making reports, and I saw one of the reports, and one of the agents looked at me!" - Tucker Carlson On his show this week, Fox News host Tucker Carlson made yet another fairly...

8 out of 10 Klan Members Think Tucker Carlson’s a Little Too Proud of His Racism

A new poll in Crosslight Monthly, a magazine written by and for members of the Ku Klux Klan shows that roughly 80% of respondents think Tucker Carlson is a "little too proud" of being a racist. The poll was featured in...

Boy Calls Child Protective Services After Catching Parents Watching Tucker Carlson

SMITHVILLE, GEORGIA -- Two parents are in custody, and authorities in their small Georgia berg aren't sure exactly what the next stop in the process will be, according to several sources close to the situation. At approximately 8:30pm last...

Breaking: Tucker Carlson Still a Racist Twuntsicle

This is a breaking story, and will be updated as more information is reported and confirmed. NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The International Institute of Finding and Labeling Racists has determined that as of the time of publication, Fox News...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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