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You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
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Science & Medicine

President Says TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’

WASHINGTON, D.C. --  Though it's still more than a year and a half away,...
Science & Medicine

After Obamacare Repeal Fails, Ted Cruz Says He’ll Have to Return to Killing ‘Zodiac Style Instead’

Senator Ted Cruz tells a church congregation he's got to go back to doing things the old school way, after the GOP can't repeal Obamacare.
Science & Medicine

Mitch McConnell Wonders If There Really Is A God If He Won’t Let Millions of People Lose Healthcare

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is in the middle of an epic existential crisis, feeling forsook by his lord and savior.
MAGA News

Trump Says He’ll Give Alaska to Russia If Murkowski Votes No on Obamacare Repeal

Senator Lisa Murkowski of Alaska has drawn the ire of our stubby fingered, angry orange orangutan president. Is Alaska on the way back to Russia?
Science & Medicine

Doctors: John McCain’s Brain Tumor Closely Connected to His Heart, Soul, Humanity

Senator John McCain received a heroes welcome before casting a deciding vote on the healthcare debate.
U.S. Politics

Susan Collins Declines Duel With Blake Farenthold, Challenges Him to 1 Meter Dash Instead

Rep. Blake Farenthold has said he's so mad at female senators blocking Obamacare's repeal that he'd do an Aaron Burr on them if they weren't women.
Science & Medicine

John McCain Asks Mayo Clinic to Prepare Brain Surgery Bill in iPhones

How many iPhones would it take to pay for the brain surgery Sen. John McCain just had? He wants to find out.
Economy

Mitch McConnell Prays For Jesus’ Guiding Hand To Rip Chemo Treatments Away from Kids With Cancer

Mitch McConnell has resorted to reaching out to a higher power in the pursuit of his dream -- ripping healthcare away from millions of Americans.
Science & Medicine

EXCLUSIVE LOOK! Leaked Details of GOP’s Top Secret Obamacare Replacement Bill

Republicans have been writing their replacement for Obamacare in secret. But initial details of the law they're drafting have just been leaked.
Economy

Paul Ryan Praying God Lets Him Rob Poor People Of Their Access To Doctors Today

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan is reaching out to a higher power to help him take away essential health access from poor people.
MAGA News

Woman Phones Doctor, Asks If They Take TrumpCare Tax Cuts As Payment For Breast Cancer Treatments

A local woman has some important questions regarding the logistics of TrumpCare, the GOP replacement for Obamacare.
MAGA News

Local Republican Loves Trumpcare Because It’s A ‘Free Market Death Panel’

A small town Republican has fallen in love with Trumpcare because he sees it as free market eugenics.
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Latest articles

Tech

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...
Arts & Entertainment

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....
Criminal Justice

Hillary Clinton Told Me She Has the Free Time to Be a Juror for Trump’s Trials

"...nothing would make me happier than to help make sure Donald Trump got the...
Women's Rights

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)