Trump Memes

Historians Unearth Draft of Famous Patrick Henry ‘Give Me Retail Shopping and Give Me Death’ Speech

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Researchers at the National Academy of History and Past Events announced this morning that they've made a rather interesting and unforeseen discovery in their basement filing cabinets. The NAHPE is tasked with curating and cataloging a...

Treasury Orders Trump’s Mushroom Stamp on Coronavirus Stimulus Checks

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The U.S. Treasury Department issued an order late last night that some say could have an impact on when some Americans receive their coronavirus stimulus aid. In a brief signing statement, Treasure Secretary and B-team Bond...

Trump Thanks Those Who Have Died from Coronavirus for Bumping Up His Briefings’ TV Ratings

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump took to Twitter this morning and did something no one could have possibly predicted based on the hundreds of tweets he's posted since becoming president -- he complained about Democrats and the media....

CDC Urges Trump Supporters to Stop Sharing Hoods

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In what has been one of the busiest and most critical times in its existence, the Centers for Disease Control has spent most of its energies in the last couple of weeks trying to help Americans...

Trump Says Signing Coronavirus Stimulus Makes Him ‘Pretty Much Really As Heroic As Doctors and Nurses’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Trump signed the massive $2 trillion coronavirus relief stimulus package into law, one source close to the president says he was "pretty hardcore miffed" that he didn't receive more accolades for doing so. Not...

Coronavirus Update: Trump Officially Moves Easter to June 5th

WASHINGTON, D.C -- This weekend, President Donald J. Trump extended the federal stay-at-home guidelines for combating the pandemic spread of the novel coronavirus until April 30th. In doing so, Trump looked like he might be backtracking on his promise...

Trump Brags That Obama ‘Could Never Have as Many COVIDs’ As He Has

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is still attempting to guide the country through a pandemic outbreak of COVID-19, or the "novel coronavirus," as it's also known. Though his administration was warned in intelligence briefings weeks ahead of time...

New Treasury Dept Report Estimates How Many Points Dow Goes Up For Every Grandparent’s Death

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week Dan Patrick, the Lt. Governor of Texas, told Fox News White Supremacist Tucker Carlson that seniors in America might have to be willing to sacrifice their lives in order for their children and grandchildren...

Trump Says His Response to Coronavirus Would Have Been Less Incompetent if the Press ‘Wasn’t So Mean’ To Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- During a recent White House press briefing on his administration's response to the COVID-19 pandemic outbreak, President Donald Trump took time to complain about how the press has covered his efforts thus far. Conservative commentator S.E....

Trump Says President of Puerto Rico Was Wrong to Call Coronavirus a ‘Hoax’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, a somber President Donald Trump implored the American people to take a fifteen day timeout from their normal routine, and hunker down at home. As part of his administration's answer to the global pandemic outbreak...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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