Trump Memes

MAGA Boy to Explain Why He’s Not In Death Cult After Injecting Lysol & Taking President’s Dick Out of Mouth

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer-songwriter Jethro Bohiggins is not in a "death cult," he told his audience this weekend, and as soon as he's done shooting up Lysol and takes President Trump's dick out of...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is a "flaming douchebag with absolutely shitty hair." At least that's true according to one of America's leading and most influential medical experts, Dr. Anthony Fauci. MORE:...

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen in the 244 year history of the nation when a 73 year old, six-foot tall baby threw a huge tantrum and stormed out of a press conference in...

Doctors Discover Fatal Rectal Cancer in Department of Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Doctors in the nation's capital discovered what they're calling the "most aggressive, repugnant, fatal rectal cancer" of their collective medical careers in the Department of Justice this morning. During routine screenings, D.C. medical staff found stage 15...

President Says Special Kool-Aid Will Protect Americans Returning to Work Without COVID-19 Vaccine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not a secret that President Trump and many of his allies in Congress are desperate for states to end their COVID-19 lockdowns and open their economies back up, as quickly as possible. MORE: Lahren: “All Lives...

Trump Calls William Shatner to Wish Him Happy May The 4th

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, fans of the iconic film franchise Star Wars are celebrating the legacy of a movie series that spawned billions of dollars in box office and retail merchandise sales. The celebration within the fandom takes place every year...

Trump Promises to Defeat the Coronavirus With the Electoral College

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has vowed on multiple occasions to lead the United States in its effort to defeat COVID-19, or the novel coronavirus. Despite having months of advance warning, Trump largely downplayed fears and concerns...

Vice President Pence: “I’m Just Used To Leaving the House With The President’s Rectum Covering My Face”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Vice President Mike Pence held a hastily thrown together press conference earlier this morning. The sole purpose behind it was to, according to Reverend Pence, "explain to the American people and the good folks...

New Poll: 75% of Americans Hope Trump and Kim Jong-un Share a Cardiologist

The results of a newly conducted and released poll seem to indicate that nearly eight out of every ten Americans are hoping that North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-un and American Wannabe Dictator and Confirmed Dick-Tater Donald J. Trump share...

Mike Pence Asks Heaven If Jesus Could Join Coronavirus Response Team

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- Jesus Hubert Christ, the Executive Vice President of Trinity, Inc., held his weekly press conference before the Pearly Gates this morning and discussed a number of topics ranging from "who put the bop in...
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Tennessee Man Cleans Up Quickly After Spanking It to Avoid Charges of Attempted Murder

It's not that he would lie around, languishing in the self-extracted afterglow. But now that it seems like the...
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